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Enter Poem or Quote (Required)Required A shameful secret that everyone hides behind their fake facades, when we should be honored to wear them and show them off Why do we hide who we truly are from the strangers that we meet? Instead of being ourselves, we never show what’s skin deep What makes us different from others? What makes us stand out? We’re so afraid to break free from the norm but deep inside our inner voice shouts Begging to be set free so that true love can be let in, no one can ever truly love you not until they can see what lies within This I know for certain ever since I was of age, if I wasn’t donned in perfection I went into a craze Why must it have been this way, who expected this of me? Only myself, I put myself in that catastrophe I didn’t believe that I was good enough or that I could fit in by just being me, so I pretended just like all the others to follow hypocrisy And never did I shine more than I did then or was ever so fake, because the person that was shown to others wasn’t me but a version that I knew would take One I knew they would accept into their glitzy world, where there is more darkness than light, but you don’t see that from the outside, all you see is the glamorous swirl The abyss that is never-ending as you peek inside, and believe that all your dreams will come true if you let them take you for a ride And so, this is where I got started, where I had my first taste, but I knew not what lied ahead down the road for me in wait I’ve always been sensitive wearing my heart there on my sleeve, never one to do unto others as they have done unto me I thought naively that being nice or sweet would get me anywhere, and that others thought the way I did and wholeheartedly cared Oh, was I blinded, so young and vulnerable to this place, and it all started with one look into his eyes now looking back I can’t remember his face But at that time, he was everything, he was all that I thought about, I dreamed of him taking me into his arms and for my friend to never find out If I would have had some self-respect and a little bit of dignity, what happened would never have happened and there wouldn’t be a rift now where a friendship used to be I think he saw the shyness within, the insecurity, the little girl closed in on herself just trying to escape her reality He knew not what she had been through in her tender, younger years, and if anyone were to ever know they would see her hidden fears How she wasn’t taught to respect herself and that a man is always right, and whatever a man wants no questions asked, you just submit and don’t dare to fight Even when you may be young, but you still know right from wrong, but you’re told that this is our secret to share so you carry that with you on your own You disguise the fear inside with a forced upon smile, you hold back the tears daring to fall at least for this little while And you tell yourself every time “This is the last time, I won’t ever do this again,” and as the scenario starts again you say nothing, and you just pretend Pretend that you don’t know that you don’t understand what’s really going on, that you’re still just that scared little girl playing the part of being strong You never look him in the eyes to do that would make it all too real, and then you become his victim and then he knows he has sealed the deal The moment that you give up hope believing that the abuse will never end, is when your life is over and the chill it settles in Every day passes by in a haze of do I tell, or keep quite inside? You’re so embarrassed and feel that it’s your fault, you believe his lies You begin to hate yourself and believe that you are not of worth, and when someone tries to get close to you, you question their motives for fear of getting hurt But at the same time, it’s twisted, because as much as you don’t want the attention, at the same time you do, that little girl inside is screaming, reaching out for any form of love even when she knows it isn’t true So, I let people take advantage of me, back then when I was younger just in menial ways, whether it be friendship that was offered I went overboard to be accepted all because I was so afraid Afraid that no one would accept me for who I really was inside, and that is the scary part not knowing the difference between my reality and the disguise See he took something from me, something that I have never gotten back, it’s been thirty years or more since this happened, but I can still feel the impact It affects me every day in my life, sometimes only in subtle ways, I still don’t know how to accept love, but I sure know how to give it away Let’s go back to that boy, the one that was with my best friend, he was just another guy out there trying to be a man Being a man to this boy meant getting as many girls as you can, and playing games with their emotions to boost their egos, sorry but no that’s no man But back then after all that I had been through I believed that it was, I was just happy that someone was interested in me and wanted to show me what I thought was love See I couldn’t see the forest for the trees, because I had been subjected to an abuse that no one should know, no one should be subjected to that misery My friendship, it’s not that it didn’t matter to me, it’s not that I didn’t care, but I didn’t see myself as beautiful as her, it just amazed me that he couldn’t help but stare Stare at me, the girl that had nothing going for her at all, her features were plain and not flashy to me it was absurd I didn’t dress to have anyone look my way; I wasn’t trying to show off my body that I believed I didn’t have but I guess he saw it another way He sweet talked me that night and oh he poured the charm all over me, he talked about how he thought I was beautiful and that he wanted to be with me
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