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Fear of Living
When I was a young girl I watched my sister die. It was in the winter, she slipped on ice ending under the wheels of a truck. My mother and I stood at the side of the street frozen. I will never forget the screams of my mother. It echoes in my nightmares. After the accident I was quiet, too quiet. I never looked at people keeping my eyes on the ground, never smiled. Of course, my parents took me to a doctor and were told I was grieving and to just be there to talk. But I did not want to talk. I did not want to play with other kids preferring to play in my backyard, or on the front porch where it was nice and safe . . . fear became entrenched everything filled me with dread ... time is an eclipse As I grew older I kept to myself at school, could spend the day at the library or at the art gallery, reading and writing but not hanging with other kids. Writing became important to me, in a journal I wrote my deepest thoughts, and I wrote stories that in time would become poems. I was a clinging vine to my family and did not venture far. Walking to and from school terrified me and I knew it was rooted in my sister's death. I was filled with panic when I crossed the street. Big trucks really scared me even when I was in the car. Until, as a young woman I decided that I needed to confront this fear, that I called fear of living . . . I rose above fear going beyond my deep angst . . . writer transcended _____________________ August 28, 2021 Poery/Haibun/Fear of Living Copyright Protected, ID 08-1385-102-28 All Rights Reserved, 2021, Constance La France Written for the Oremier contest, Fear Transcendence sponsor, Unseeking Seeker, Judged 08/30/2012 First Place
Copyright © 2024 Constance La France. All Rights Reserved

Book: Shattered Sighs