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Ode To Molly, My Drug of Choice
Dear Molly, For you, I feel nothing but anger, contempt, and disdain, because you made me believe that you were the cure for all my psycho-emotional pain. I surrendered my heart and my soul to you Molly and I even let you take control of my brain. At one point in time, I didn't know who or what monster you turned me into. But one thing I do know, Molly you made it impossible to get through my days and nights without you. You had control of my body now Molly, and if I didn't choose you, you would make me feel so sick inside to the point where I was helpless not knowing what to do. Molly, you made me fall in love with you, you are my smoove, silky slim! What did you say Molly? “To hell with my wife and kids.., I ain't worried about them! I was so messed up about you Molly, I started doing things I swore I would never do, lying and stealing from the people who meant the most to this KID. Molly, they say, for a junkie to get what he has to have, he will do things he never did! Molly, you had me convinced that throughout my whole life you were determined to stay, and I didn’t have the strength to turn from you and just walk away. Before I knew it Molly, everyone I loved had seen this side of me that was hurting them inside, every time my family or my counselors questioned me and asked me to confide, I did what you taught me to do Molly.., I looked at them straight in their eyes and I lied. I wanted to let you go so bad Molly and get you out of my way, but I was so scared to even tell someone.., so fearful of what they would say. Molly, I didn’t want to be judged like that, so it was a decision I would have to make, but I've wasted so much time with you Molly, it might be a little too damn late. Incarceration was a curse I knew it was going to come down to, but Molly the blessing is that it made me free and emotionally relieved, knowing that I could not get to you. Dear Molly, it was a struggle, but it was a worthwhile fight, because now I’m in control again and today you are out of my life. Being sober turned me into the person I've always wanted to be, and Molly, I know it was the one day you were praying I would never see. Now I am doing all the good things I never imagined myself to do, and proudly I can say I am doing them Molly.., without you!
Copyright © 2024 James Dukes. All Rights Reserved

Book: Shattered Sighs