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The Sadist and the Masochist 2
There is a reason though that we met when we did in that time, and the answer to that question is what still burns in my mind See you never showed me this version of you, this coldhearted sadist that you could be, you told me that the darkness then wasn’t clawing at you just yet, when you were with me You showed me the true side of you, or maybe it was just because I gave you my light, it shined through your darkness and it helped you through the fight The inner struggle that consumed you every day, the demons in your mind that begged to come out and play But once I was gone there was no light left in your dark, cruel world, so you turned to the path that lied before you, that you had paved so long ago You weren’t willing to be the victim, to let the power lie in someone else’s hands, you decided that to deal with your pain that you must take a stand So, you became the one thing that you hated the most, you became the powerful villain in your story that you wrote No longer would you open your heart, never again would you be placed in pain, no longer would anyone be able to reach you, for you were forever stained So instead of being the one being beaten down and bruised, you inflicted your pain on others you were the one causing the abuse You got a secret thrill from bringing another to their knees, and you know I am right when they would beg for it and plead Plead to be punished, to be treated like pure dirt, they wanted to please only you, regardless if they got hurt Your pleasure is what they wanted, no matter the means, they were willing to let you degrade them, just to be in your presence, to have you acknowledge them, just so that they could be seen They let you destroy their self-control, they gave you their hopes and dreams, they handed over to you their truest fears and you ripped them apart from the seams The more that they begged, the hungrier you became, it was an addiction that took a hold of you and you knew that you would never again be the same You finally tasted what it felt like to inflict the pain to someone else, and then you started to realize why in your past you were put through hell You once told me that you questioned yourself if it was all to get you prepared for this moment where you would play king, you reveled in the demise of others pain and suffering I was not the one that saved you from the monster you had become, you told me that it was her, the one that was always there that she had finally had enough She is what brought you back from the other side, realizing that you may lose the one thing that mattered in your life It wasn’t me, I was just a piece of your past, an innocent girl that got swept away by beautiful words believing that what we had would last You were the emotional sadist, the one that played with other’s minds, and deep down I was a masochist begging to be hurt, just so that I could have some of your time What is wrong with me that I would love someone that could treat someone this way? I saw something inside of you that you tried to hide, and that memory of you unfortunately for me, will never go away.
Copyright © 2024 Amanda Kinzer. All Rights Reserved

Book: Shattered Sighs