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Enter Poem or Quote (Required)Required “Might you have an opening for an auction fairly soon? If I move, I'm gonna have a ton of stuff to sell.” “I'm trying to find a building at the moment,” he replied, “a really big tornado blew my last one all to hell!” “When was that,” I quizzed the guy...“couldn't have been too recent? The last tornado I recall - 'round here - was five years back.” “A week ago today,” he said...“the day before the sale. I can't believe how tricky them tornadoes are to track!” “The damn thing never left no trail...and touched down only once...but you'd have sworn a bomb went off...the way that building looked! Countin' the robbery - last July...when thieves, with big ol' semis - cleared my place of the very finest things I've ever booked, “Catastrophes - three straight times - have totally wiped me out - and with my little gambling problem - bills aren't getting paid. Thankfully, my creditors are being very flexible.....they let me pay off debts by taking merchandise in trade!” “Where do you get the merchandise to make the trades?” I asked. “From what you've said, it sounds as though you're a real unlucky guy.” “Every now an' then I get some - 'unexpected goodies' - pretty much out o' nowhere when my fam'ly members die. “I lost a couple cousins and an uncle this past year, and everything I got from them was used to pay down debt, And, believe it or not...that midnight theft...that fire...and strange tornado...were actually all preempted by --- a family member's death! “Of course, despite consignors ending up without a cent - those insured - who stood a chance of being reimbursed - Likely got a few bucks back...but some who were not covered...are spreading ugly rumors that my auction firm is cursed! “But back to what you asked me, sir...you asked about an auction. Well...turns out there's a building, just a couple miles from town, That...if you'll pay the cost to rent it...oughta work just fine...if guarded well...there ain't no storms...and the damn thing don't burn down. “Whatdaya say I meet you at the building in an hour? It's just a little south of town, on Highway 62. Whatever rent he charges you...you will be reimbursed for...as soon as the auctions over...if that's OK with you. “It used to be a county shed. It'll need some fixing up...but it's plenty big, and the parking lot should hold a hundred cars! So...provided you'll agree to sign the lease and - pay the rent - I'll start runnin' fliers out to the barbershops and bars.” “You --- want me --- to pay the building's rent,” I bit his ass...“plus pay to fix the damn thing up, so you can have a sale? Well...I looked you up in the phone book, dude! I'm parked across the street...and I just watched you slither out to the box to get your mail, “And I, for one, am betting that this crap about you coming up with “unexpected goodies” - when some fam'ly member dies - Is total bull! You're tradin' away your - clientele's consignments - to pay your stinkin' debts! Theres' no -- inherited merchandise! “Funny how the 'catastrophes', that brought complete destruction in every instance, happened on -- the day before the sale. And your line of bull proclaiming they were merely sheer coincidence is absolutely comical...and you should be in jail!” “You sound a little - pessimistic, sir” the little weasel whined, “and I can see you sitting in your car across the street. Maybe it would help if I came out and actually met you. I just might wind up bein' the shrewdest guy you'll ever meet!” “Well, you know what,” I bit again, “it's nice of you to offer, but as far as - we two teamin' up - I think I'm gonna pass, And you just dodged a bullet, dude, because...insured or not...if you did what you've done to them - to me........I'd kick your - backside!” See all my books and CDs at - www.writerofbooks.com
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