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Forgiveness - Edited With Addendum
She always shouted at me criticized me full day Told my husband, in laws and kid I am bad They hated me and treated me badly Every moment everyone only told me how bad I am It seemed as if I was baddest in world I often cried Felt I didn't deserve to live I thought my karma's were the cause and endured it all I kept mum, I didn't want to hurt her and sin further Already I was suffering a lot She also did black magic on me I would find things in house that didn’t belong to me All my new dresses would have a red stain like blood, It would just not go When I wore those dresses I would become negative, depressed and cry for hours Thoughts like running away from home would come in mind I didn't know what to do How to remove the stain How can I go out wearing a cloth with red stain in it But I had to Anything new I purchased would be stained next day I suffered for 15 years Every moment agony, sadness, pain Everyone hated me, criticized me My self-confidence at its lowest ebb The very thought of those days still make me sad After she left home, everything stopped! It was only then I realized that she was the cause of the red stain All say forgive and forget But how can I forgive her? How can I not hate her? Despite my best efforts I am not able to do it It is Easier said than done! I have stopped talking to her I want to be away from her physically and mentally That is the only way I can be happy! I cannot stop hating her I cannot like her I keep myself busy and try not think of her. Still mind gets very upset at times. Those times I tell myself, my karmas are the cause of my suffering She is a mere instrument in hands of God to punish me. With these thoughts I calm my mind When I read about forgiveness I laugh It is not easy for humans to forgive Best is not to think What you don't think doesn't exist. Addendum 1 day later: *********************** After writing above, mind was in turmoil Scriptures state we are a part of God Then why this suffering Why God doesn't end our suffering Am I really a part of God? Is my whole body a part of God or just soul? I opened Bhagvad Gita, started reading Got the answer : Soul is part of God. Body is not. Soul is eternal, body is perishable Body suffers for sins of previous births Since soul associates itself with body it feels pain We are the soul not the body. Moment I read the above, I felt peaceful Whome to forgive? For what? I never suffered. It was the body which suffered. I am the soul. Question of forgiveness doesn't arise at all. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This is what I read : BG 15.7: The embodied souls in this material world are My eternal fragmental parts. But bound by material nature, they are struggling with the six senses including the mind. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Premier contest winner 3rd position 26.05.2021
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