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Time
Time Did we think that time would always there for us? An infinite amount of time to use as we please. Never counting time.....and never thinking it would end Did we ever doubt that someday time would be our elusive enemy.... something that we could not buy, slow down....or standstill. Youth, so innocent...did we ever want time to slowdown! No time enemies there...... We would live forever...always enough time to do everything we wanted. Time played a trick..... Life passes, days, weeks, months and years, so fleeting now . No time. What happened to yesterday? Tomorrows are few, and yesterdays many. Youth was a protector, always offering up time, so much time Starting school, leaving home for the day, making new friends, and learning to be independent. That Christmas when all I wanted for Christmas was "my two front teeth"... It took so long to get those new teeth! High school, football games, and dating. Special friends that last a lifetime. Each milestone waiting anxiously, thinking it would never come, waiting waiting, 16, a drivers license, it took way too long. Birthday cake didn't matter that year! A trip to the DMV, that was the only thing that mattered! Graduation, and 18... why did it take so long.. independence was right around that corner, which was an eternity, the corner was elusive, and each day seemed like a year, waiting, waiting. My first job, my first apartment. So many firsts. 21! Waiting for this day... finally it arrived! The night to celebrate! Friends, laughter, and fun! Never ending time to do what I wanted to do. Getting married. It finally, happened! Just when I thought this would never happen to me! The ceremony... so beautiful... and the beginning of my life, with the love of my life. The birth of my child. A beautiful miracle. I would never be the same. Nothing would ever be as special or as important as this moment. Love I had never known. Kindergarten already? The day my child started school, I cried. A happy day, and a sad day. Letting go. Maybe time DOES move along. 30 years old, I feel older, but not old. School years, went by in a whirlwind of activities and fun times. I watched as my children grew into a young and independent adults. So fast go the years. Graduation days, special days....no I am not ready yet! I cry. Where did the years go? I am not ready. I need more "time".... My days are not as full now , but I spend more time with my parents. I see them getting "old", and I realize I am next in line to "get old".. I am not sure that time is going slow enough for me now! Christmases come and go. Birthdays that seem to take years to arrive are now on the "fast track"... I think they arrive every month now,...not every 12 months! Weddings, and celebrations, and life moved along. Suddenly, I am a Grandmother! I am so happy, yet so surprised, it can't be! I am only in my 50's! My Grandparents pass away, and I miss them so...there were so many things I wanted to do with them, now there is no time. My Father is frail now, a once strong, young man. My Mother struggles to remember who I am. When I realize she doesn't know my name....I cry Am I forever lost to her... Will I have enough time to spend with them before they are gone? My 65th birthday, and I am not sure how I got to this age so quickly, but thankful for the years and the blessings. Social Security, Medicare and so many things I thought were for "old people"....is the joke on me? Great birthday cake , I can enjoy it, and I don't need to worry about how much I weigh! How do I look (I look old, that's how I look) How do I feel? I still feel young, in an old body, Lol! Yes, amazing how I morphed into an "old person, without even trying! Time.... that thing I cannot buy, or borrow. Not one extra minute is available to anyone. My own mortality stares me in the face as I look in the mirror and my dark hair is now silver, my face lined with wrinkles of age, and my body aches and "says".... it is tired. There are sags in new places everyday. I would work out, ....but I don't have time. Family and love abounds in my life and I am indeed blessed, but these days ...... We have no time to talk. Maybe someday. Maybe someday.
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Book: Reflection on the Important Things