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POLLY GONE - COLLAB
Fred’s feeding his neighbour’s pet parrot, He replaced its water with claret, Poll dropped off her perch Now Fred’s in the lurch and claiming it choked on raw carrot Big trouble is looming for Fred As Polly is very much dead The neighbour is Fred’s boss He’s fuming at the loss So Freddie retreats to his bed Written by Jan Allison Poll Parrot was killed by her neighbour, Fred She fell down on her cage floor and left for dead Poor Polly died from Fred's wine Off the perch, she lay, supine Fred was found guilty of avian bloodshed WRITTEN BY JENNA LOGAN Macaws are a noisy parrot Prone to get drunk sipping claret Locked in its cage Fred could but rage The bird was lunch for Fred's ferret WRITTEN BY RICO LEFFANTA A pet parrot was once fed by Fred He gave Pol Claret then went to bed Now drunk from the wine Pols fall was divine Because of Fred poor Pol is now dead WRITTEN BY MARK KOPLIN Fred lay in bed thinking what can I do I've no job and my boss is gonna sue Thought he'd lighten the mood Cook his boss some nice food Maybe a roast or a nice tasty stew. Went to his boss with a tear in his eye Saying sorry your parrot had to die Id like to make amends Hope that we can be friends And served him fresh delicious parrot pie. WRITTEN BY TOM CUNNINGHAM Fred knows he needs to make it right Stayed up thinking all through the night A new pet for his boss would remedy his loss A new parrot will ship tonight The parrot arrived the next day In a box flattened all the way Fred was afraid to look As he grabbed it and shook Out fell a parrot full of hay WRITTEN BY TANIA KITCHIN Fred was a big showoff parrot Who imitated his owner Borat He wore a mankini Packed in tight his weenie Now they call him pretty disparate WRITTEN BY DAVID KAVANAGH Fred's boss tucked into the pie heartily Since losing Poll he starved himself silly He swallowed a beak Ate two parrot feet Now squawks, whistles and sings a fine trilly. The boss flew off shouting "Pretty Polly" Fred thought he had gone right off his trolley He put boss to bed Boss couldn't rest, he said “I need a perch to sleep on - you Wally.” WRITTEN BY BELLE BELLEVUE Fred and his boss ate the fresh parrot pie Afterward, they felt sick and didn't know why They took turns in the loo It stunk; smelt like a zoo He looked Fred in the eyes and said goodbye WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y So Polly ain’t talking no more Fred left her stone dead on the floor But life isn’t peaceful For fate is deceitful His neighbour just bought a macaw Fred schemes and he hatches a plot This parrot will not be his lot His avian blight Just squawks day and night But Fred’s got a handy garrote WRITTEN BY TERRY FLOOD But, having killed bird number two Fred feared that his neighbour might sue In fear of just that He smothered his cat In feathers of red, green and blue His neighbour said what a big bird And I know this might sound absurd Cos just now I poked it Then I gently stroked it And I swear the bloody thing purred WRITTEN BY TERRY FLOOD The parrot was clearly quite dead - it seems that it fell on its head, its legs in the air, no more will it swear, so shrugging I went off to bed... WRITTEN BY JACK HORNE 04/08/21
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