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Enter Poem or Quote (Required)Required On a cold and misty morning…cloudy…dark…and gray, I woke up very early…couldn’t sleep. I’d lain awake much longer than I usually did that night…I’d even tried that good old counting sheep. As I read the nearby clock that stood at five fifteen, I knew that dawn had broken long ago, And felt it likely made no sense to try to fall to sleep with only three more hours left to go. I could only lie there, contemplating where I’d be - and what I’d be there for - in just a while. I’d waited so much longer than a person really should, and now would pay the price for my denial. Symptoms were…for me…unclear, and it was hard to tell if something deep inside had gone awry, But now the time had finally come to let the doctors probe, and tell me when the end would come…and why. Someone told me long ago…someone really wise…to live like every day could be my last. I guess I’d done too much of that, and…how I’d spent my youth would finally have me paying for my past. When I reached his office, he could see me right away, and I would watch him fumble through his notes. Knowing this was going to differ from his old routine of simply checking noses, ears, and throats, “How’r we doin’?” he began. “You say you’re feeling tired, and seeing signs of bleeding in your stool? Of course that isn’t good, …but it can mean a lot of things…and I’m not fond of guessing as a rule. “Why don’t you undress so we can check your vital signs. The nurse will be in soon to start you off. It’s time you had a physical, it’s been a couple years. Remove your clothes, and…get prepared to cough.” That was just enough to make me smile, as he walked out. He had a friendly manner that I liked. But still, I held a guarded view of what would lay in store, and…fearful of the worst, I sat there…psyched. When the nurse had finished taking pressure, pulse, and blood, she told me, “He’ll be in in just a bit.” Everybody knows how long a doctor’s “bit” can be, and I could only contemplate…and sit. Almost thirty minutes passed before he came back in and simply said, “Stand up, and turn around. Now, please bend over, spread your cheeks, and cough a couple times.” (I noticed in the mirror how he frowned.) When he'd finally finished, he just looked at me and said, “We prob’ly ought to run some basic tests. We’ll send some blood and urine to the lab to get it checked, and take a couple ex-rays of your chest. “Do you smoke, or ever drink excessively at all? Your pressure’s pretty high, and I’m concerned.” “Yes, I have,” I told the truth. “For many, many years.” The look he gave me - as he slowly turned - Told me he was not surprised, and when he shook his head, I knew that there was something very wrong. “When your stools are red,” he said, “it’s not a good idea for guys your age to put it off this long.” “I’d have come in sooner,” I explained, “but our insurance doesn’t cover much, and I’m afraid That, if an operation’s needed, Doc, I’ll tell ya’ straight…the surgery bills we’d have could not be paid!” “Mark…I hate to tell you this,” he very calmly said…while looking at me squarely in the eye… “The truth is, I don’t need to wait to see the test results, and all of us - eventually - have to die! “I’m prescribing something new, to help you fight the pain. There’s really only one thing this can mean. But you’re not going to die from this....the only thing you have’s.... the largest hemorrhoid I have ever seen!!!” PS: I've now got 4 new Audio-CDs - @ 4 1/2 hours each = (62 diversely varied pieces). They’re listed on EBAY - under - “Mark Stellinga Poetry” - or available by simply contacting me at -- mark@writerofbooks.com -- should those of you who enjoy listening to poems as well as reading them - and particularly those of you that travel - care to be so entertained. (We use safe and simple - PayPal) Cheers, Mark
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