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Attention please…I’d like to have a minute of your time To tell you why I rarely understand the “weaker sex.” Always struggling hard to break their stupid verbal code… I’ve never really figured out why things are so complex. For instance: when I ask her where she wants to go to eat, She claims she “doesn’t care”, and I should choose for both of us. So I believe that, when she says the choice is mine to make, There’s nothing left that she and I are needing to discuss. I’m here to say - that’s not the case. It never goes like that. Her line about “not caring” is, I swear, her favorite ruse. Almost every single time she says it’s up to me, When I finally pick a place…no matter where I choose… It’s never right, and every time I ask, “So where then, dear?” She gives me her disgusted look and tells me, “I don’t care.” And by the time I’ve bit my lip - (to hold my temper back) Until it’s nearly bleeding, she will add, “Just anywhere!!!” “So, why not there,” I blew my top the last time we went out. “Didn’t you say that I could pick the place we’re eating at?” “Of course, you silly peanut,” she replied sarcastically, “But I didn’t think you’d ever pick a stupid place like that!” What the hell does, “I don’t care - it’s really up to you,” Really mean if - every time I pick a place to go - She comes back consistently with, “Anywhere but there?” And if she’s ever going to stop…I’d really like to know. And how about, “No, really, honey…don’t get me a thing.” Whenever anniversaries or birthdays roll around? The once or twice that I forgot to actually buy a gift, The way she bawled and whined…I thought I’d never live it down. How am I to actually know when “I don’t want a thing.” Really means I’m truly not supposed to buy a gift When fifteen seconds after she discovers I’ve obeyed, She’s giving me her dirty little looks and acting miffed? And when she says, “Whatever”…is it, “yes”…or is it, “no?” This word is not an answer, man. “Whatever” doesn’t fly. It seems to me that…when she laughs…she’s daring me somehow… And when she thinks she’ll get her way by acting hurt…she’ll cry! Another thing I really hate is when she comes to me And says, “Now tell me, honestly…does this dress fit too tight?” “A little,” gets me dirty looks. “Not really,” does the same. So why she asks I’ll never know…the truth is rarely right. And while we’re on the clothing issue, I would like to know Just exactly where she’s hid my hat with fishing hooks. She prob’ly threw the thing away, I wouldn’t put it past her. I know how much she hates it…but I like the way it looks. That’s the hat I wear when me and Delbert troll the bay, And if I fish without it, well…I rarely get a bite! And she’s got hats I swear that taxidermists must have made. There’s one that actually looks just like a pheasant…taking flight! With all the endless agony this woman’s put me through… Almost driving me insane…the thing I can’t believe Is…how I take it…like a fool… and waste my precious time Suffering through the senseless pain, and never actually leave. Yes…“fickle” isn’t even close to what she really is, And every day her brainlessness gets harder to endure. But worst of all, I’ve talked to nearly every guy I know. They tell me that they’re victims, too…and that there is no cure!

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Fickle Isn't Even Close - Both Audio and Text

Attention please…I’d like to have a minute of your time To tell you why I rarely understand the “weaker sex.” Always struggling hard to break their stupid verbal code… I’ve never really figured out why things are so complex. For instance: when I ask her where she wants to go to eat, She claims she “doesn’t care”, and I should choose for both of us. So I believe that, when she says the choice is mine to make, There’s nothing left that she and I are needing to discuss. I’m here to say - that’s not the case. It never goes like that. Her line about “not caring” is, I swear, her favorite ruse. Almost every single time she says it’s up to me, When I finally pick a place…no matter where I choose… It’s never right, and every time I ask, “So where then, dear?” She gives me her disgusted look and tells me, “I don’t care.” And by the time I’ve bit my lip - (to hold my temper back) Until it’s nearly bleeding, she will add, “Just anywhere!!!” “So, why not there,” I blew my top the last time we went out. “Didn’t you say that I could pick the place we’re eating at?” “Of course, you silly peanut,” she replied sarcastically, “But I didn’t think you’d ever pick a stupid place like that!” What the hell does, “I don’t care - it’s really up to you,” Really mean if - every time I pick a place to go - She comes back consistently with, “Anywhere but there?” And if she’s ever going to stop…I’d really like to know. And how about, “No, really, honey…don’t get me a thing.” Whenever anniversaries or birthdays roll around? The once or twice that I forgot to actually buy a gift, The way she bawled and whined…I thought I’d never live it down. How am I to actually know when “I don’t want a thing.” Really means I’m truly not supposed to buy a gift When fifteen seconds after she discovers I’ve obeyed, She’s giving me her dirty little looks and acting miffed? And when she says, “Whatever”…is it, “yes”…or is it, “no?” This word is not an answer, man. “Whatever” doesn’t fly. It seems to me that…when she laughs…she’s daring me somehow… And when she thinks she’ll get her way by acting hurt…she’ll cry! Another thing I really hate is when she comes to me And says, “Now tell me, honestly…does this dress fit too tight?” “A little,” gets me dirty looks. “Not really,” does the same. So why she asks I’ll never know…the truth is rarely right. And while we’re on the clothing issue, I would like to know Just exactly where she’s hid my hat with fishing hooks. She prob’ly threw the thing away, I wouldn’t put it past her. I know how much she hates it…but I like the way it looks. That’s the hat I wear when me and Delbert troll the bay, And if I fish without it, well…I rarely get a bite! And she’s got hats I swear that taxidermists must have made. There’s one that actually looks just like a pheasant…taking flight! With all the endless agony this woman’s put me through… Almost driving me insane…the thing I can’t believe Is…how I take it…like a fool… and waste my precious time Suffering through the senseless pain, and never actually leave. Yes…“fickle” isn’t even close to what she really is, And every day her brainlessness gets harder to endure. But worst of all, I’ve talked to nearly every guy I know. They tell me that they’re victims, too…and that there is no cure!