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Enter Poem or Quote (Required)Required Ya' gotta feel sorry for this ding-bat - The clouds were drifting eastward through a cool late-evening sky, as I was barreling down a road in eastern Tennessee. Whipping through the traffic in a new Mercedes Benz, I’d sworn - somehow - I’d be on time for where I had to be. I’d missed my flight from Birmingham to Washington DC, and later flights had lots of seats in coach, but no first-class, So I’d decided I would simply drive - in something fast. (The firm I worked for always paid for rental cars and gas.) Speeding down the highway at a somewhat faster pace than anyone around me drove was what I always did, But just outside of Knoxville, on a fairly nasty curve, I roared into a speed trap where a sneaky trooper hid. I was so completely screwed…I knew the smartest thing that I could do was back ‘er down and put ‘er on the side. In the mirror I watched him “call it in” as I prepared to feed this guy the biggest line of bull I’d ever tried. After maybe six or seven minutes, he approached. Just like in the movies…with his big cigar and all. Rolling down the window as he stopped beside the door, I began, “Good evening, sir. Nice to see y’all. “Good thing you were here tonight. Although he got away…I know what he was driving…and I saw his license plate. I’m really glad I hit the gas…I’m sure it saved my life…‘cause - if I hadn’t sped like that…it might have been too late.” “Let me see your license, sir,” he rather coldly said. “And kindly keep your hands upon the wheel, if you don’t mind. It seems like you’re the only one that saw another car. Maybe I was sleeping, or…perhaps I’m going blind!” It was more than obvious I’d finally met a cop that wasn’t going to buy my line about a speeding car, And so, I started in on him…“I’ve always heard it said that Tennessee State Troopers are the finest that there are. “Known for being friendly, and forgiving…really nice. They understand that everyone deserves a second chance.” But when I saw the look of great contempt upon his face, and saw him grab the ticket-book protruding from his pants, I could see - the more I said - the deeper I went in - to what was now a pile of crap like I had never known. And I could tell I’d really ticked him off with my routine when he said sternly, “Shut your mouth, punk…I don’t like your tone! “I should throw the book at you. The limit’s sixty-five, and you were doing ninety, on a dark and curvy road.” Then added, as he scrutinized my license, “Might be best if I just make a call and have this little hot-rod towed! “Maybe staying overnight…inside the county jail…so you can tell the judge, tomorrow, what you just told me… Is the wisest thing to do since - you were almost killed…and then you’ll know for certain about how ‘friendly’ we can be.” “Please, forgive me, officer,” I quickly answered back. “It’s true that I was speeding, and, yes…I was out of line. There’s no excuse for what I did…and I apologize. I have a little cash here… if you’ll let me pay the fine.” That was when he drew his gun, and…pointing it at me, he screamed, “I don’t take bribes. Now…put your hands on top your head. Step outside the car and do exactly as I say. And if you try to get away…I swear, I’ll shoot you dead!” Terrified, I raised my hands and did as I was told. I climbed on out and looked into the barrel of his gun. “Put your hands behind your back. I’m cuffing you,” he growled. “And don’t forget…I’ll kill you…if you’re dumb enough to run.” “Believe me…I won’t try to run…I swear! And I ain’t tryin’ to bribe ya’…I just thought it worked that way.” “Oh, yeah, right. I’m sure you did,” he snarled sarcastically. “I take a little cash from you…then you just - drive away! “You know what, you little scumbag…let's try this instead. Here’s the key. Remove the cuffs. So…how much have you got? I could use the extra dough to buy a box of donuts to eat while I’m attempting to explain….....HOW YOU GOT SHOT!” That was when I started screaming…“Please don’t kill me, sir!”…according to the woman who was sitting by my side, And slapped me really hard across the face to bring me to, and said, “I felt I’d better wake you up....before you died!” PS: I've now got 4 new Audio-CDs - @ 4 1/2 hours each = (62 diversely varied pieces). They’re listed on EBAY - under - “Mark Stellinga Poetry” - or available by simply contacting me at -- mark@writerofbooks.com -- should those of you who enjoy listening to poems as well as reading them - and particularly those of you that travel - care to be so entertained. (We use safe and simple - PayPal) Cheers, Mark
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