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Efflorescence
I am lying in a field everything surrounding me so serene, the sky is the most beautiful shade of blue and the grass a beautiful luscious green There is nothing forgotten or decayed in this place, unless you consider me and then well, I state my case The flowers are efflorescence reaching up to the sky, just craving a taste of rain but the clouds do not comply So, I give them sustenance through the tears that I cry, just because I am now at peace there is no reason for them to die See they give me the elation that I seek in this place, I have created my own palette of colors because through them I am trying to replace All the darkness that had crept inside of me, and turned everything that I once loved into nightmares that wouldn’t cease The demons can’t reach me here and neither can your words so crude, the ones that you used to break me, the ones that made me feel used Here I am surrounded by nothing but my serenity, I am right where I always dreamed that someday I would be The only fault with this illusion is that I no longer have you, not the you that broke my heart, not the you that left me bruised The you that loved me so deeply that spoke words oh so true, the one that spoke of this place to me and made me believe that one day I would be here with you That we would have to do nothing but lie here in this bed of grass in each other’s arms, and look up to the sky and count the millions of stars We could love like there was no tomorrow and live only for today, if we had each other there would be no words that we would need to say Our hearts could speak for us and beat in synchronicity, we could live in eternal bliss right here in this fantasy You could crouch down and pick a bouquet of aromatic flowers just for me, and tell me that in my eyes is the only place that you ever wish to see You could take me on moonlit walks down these untouched paths, and simply hold my hand in yours and lovingly ask me to dance You could take me into your arms and hold me closer than ever before to you, and look into my eyes and make me feel how much your love for me is true But instead you chose to take another path, a path in your alternate life, you chose the path of righteousness and sacrifice And I was left alone broken and crushed inside, and so I decided to find this place on my own and this is where I run to hide I had to create my own version of what you perceived this place to be, but there is no more sadness, at least none surrounding me Everything is breathtaking, and all is right, except for my heart that lies in my chest, it stopped it’s fight I try to gather strength from all the beautiful beings in this place, and I try to appease them and smile through my disgrace I don’t want to corrupt such a beautiful fantasy, that was created so that my broken heart could one day again find the will to beat So, I bathe in the mystical waters that run by the luscious hillside, and I lie alone and watch the beautiful butterflies I look up to the sky and I close my weary eyes, and I let sleep consume me so that I can finally sleep tonight.
Copyright © 2024 Amanda Kinzer. All Rights Reserved

Book: Shattered Sighs