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You Must Think I'M Dumb
You must be laughing your head off at me thinking I'm so stupid that I don't know what is really going on, sorry to bust your little bubble but I know what is exactly going on. You only told me that you have a job to do in Alabama but you haven't told me that you will be gone for four whole days. You must think that you pulled the wool over my eyes think again, I know everything that you have been up to this whole entire time. I know you are planning on sneaking off with your ex girlfriend to have sex with her, I know you are planning to have sex in Alabama also. You forgot that your accounts are on my phone and that I can read everything your texting and planning on doing, you begged me not to leave you. You begged me to come home from Ohio, you told me that you choose to be with me when your ex girlfriend made fun of me. You said she mad you so mad that you quit talking to her, but it was all a bunch of lies. I have showed you time and time again that I trusted you, well I don't trust you anymore and I don't believe a word you say to me anymore. I was so happy, overjoyed and flying on cloud nine when you said that you choose to be with me. You say you can't picture your life without me, bullcrap I don't believe you. Because if you really can't picture your life without me you wouldn't be sneaking behind my back to have sex with your ex girlfriend or to have sex in Alabama. You would be showing me how much I truly mean to you, instead all you do is sneak around behind my back and tell other women how beautiful they are how sexy and how much you want to have sex with them. I can't remember the last time you told me how beautiful I am or how sexy I am or even how breathtaking I am to you. I can't even remember the last time you told me how lucky you was to have me in your life. How much I meant to you, all you care about is your own pleasure not once have you ever tried to pleasure me. When we have sex it's all about you needs, wants and pleasure, I give you more blow jobs than you have ever eaten me out. I don't complain about it anymore and I haven't in four years now, I don't ask you to eat me out either because you pop off at the mouth that is this the only thing I want you to do. So I quit asking for it four years ago, I give you a blow job and then I roll over to suffer being turned on by giving you head. You don't know how badly I suffer from wanting to have  release of my very own, and hurt so badly knowing you don't even think about pleasing me. Oh you think about pleasing other women but you never think of pleasing the one you have in your bed, home and who has always been there for you when you would go to jail time after time. I'm about worn down and tired I don't know how much more I can take of this, you tell me all the time that I only think of myself and it's not ture I think more of you than you really know. I wished that sometimes I really would only think about myself instead of always thinking about you, I clean house, I do laundry, wash, folding and putting up your clothes. I give you everything and you never give back to me. I lay out your clothes for you when you take a shower, I make sure you had money on your books when you was in jail, I made sure you had cigarettes when I didn't have any and I eat out of a trash can in the park so you would have food in jail. I bathed in the park when you had a nice shower to stand in. Not once have you ever thanked me for my sacrifices, you accuse me of doing stuff behind your back not believing in my innocence and you told me to my face that you don't believe a word I'm saying to you and that I have to again prove myself to you. But not once have you proved to me about the way you calm to feel about me, love me or even trust me. Well now I don't trust you or believe a word you say anymore to me, because I think your lying to me all the time. So go and enjoy your four days of having sex with that woman, thinking that I have no idea of what is really going on. But I'll never tell you that I really know what you have been up to mister. I'll save my knowledge of it all for the right moment to tell you that I knew everything that you thought you thought you was  sneaking behind my back to do. By: Vera Rice!
Copyright © 2024 Vera Rice. All Rights Reserved

Book: Shattered Sighs