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Enter Poem or Quote (Required)Required You're slipping away again ... Will you return this time, or are you done? Are your feet set on the path to oblivion this time, Or is this another detour ... a few steps off the straights? I have to understand ... HAVE to It's not your fault - you were never given the tools Still, it's so hard to NOT resent the situation I think back on all the times I was sick All the times I was injured or sad or hurting emotionally The myriad sprains and cuts and questions about Life The endless accidents and bumped knees The countless moments when I needed a hug Or just someone to tell me it was OK ... All of the little AND big needs throughout my childhood And all the moments and obligations from then to now Were mom ... NONE of it was you - just mom, always mom Always, always, always ... Mom, doing everything, no need unanswered All the while trying her best to convince me that you loved me "Your father loves you - oh, he does!" ... Though the words NEVER left your lips ... never She did her best to cover for you, at her own expense ... Love and care and rides to games and study help Guidance and maturity and facts of life Tears and pains and loves and ills and wonders and scars Lessons and discipline and punishment ALL of it was mom ... I have not one SINGLE memory of you like that - Bringing me a cold facecloth when I had a migraine Putting a bandage on my knee, picking me up Giving me a hug and encouragement when I was sad or discouraged Talking it out when I was mad or hurt in love Playing catch, riding on shoulders, laughing Teaching, sharing, caring, arguing, being crazy NONE of it - not one iota ... and yet, You were THERE - in the house Always around and within reach, but conveniently "busy" Never EVER a help or a part of my daily life Negative OR positive OR even ambiguous ... It's SO difficult to put that stark, blatant negligence aside Yet I MUST, for now you need me ... now I must be a son As your mind and body deteriorates And you lose your grip on the tenuous thread of mortality. But it always comes back - that question ... why? Why was I not worth a single caring effort?? Not even a hug? Seriously?? Not even a goddam hug for your little boy?!? Where do I put this ... Where it will no longer poison me ... Where it will no longer poison us BOTH?? For even our sad, tearful goodbyes ... Will seem ... a LIE.
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