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"PHOENIX: Bleeding Hearts and Blue Violets”
Broken Hearts bleeding red
You lie in white sheets
Turning in the crisp clean pages muddy with
Black Dogs barking in your head
They run all night chasing your tail
You twist and turn in bed
What could have been?
What should have been?
There is no reason
There is no rhyme
Your dreams deliver to you upon daylight waking
There can be no more wasting of your precious Life
There can be no more wasting of your precious Time
Red is the colour of Life
Heart bleeds, pumps red blood
Metronome music it’s marking time
It’s singing Life instead
Blue Violets are not wasted
You take your paint brush you paint them white
In you all the colours of the Rainbow exist
Ultra Luminescent Bright
You paint a whole new blooming garden
Kaleidoscope full of different spectrums that delight
Inside you there is a Bushfire burning
Kills Black Dogs, Cane Toads and
Lights up all the dark starless nights
You can hear it’s crackling flight through the Canefields in your mind
See the Foxes running, all the creatures of the night
Snakes shed their skins they slither and they hide
The King Bull’s been let out of the pen
He stirs the Ducks and Geese feathers drop as they rise
You are a Pheonix rising from the Fire
Angel majestic wings are beating strong above the smoke,
No threat to put your flame out here
Flying ever upwards towards the Shining Light that’s never seen,
that's constant, always near
You are not retreating
Blue Violets crushed and beaten
This is some heavenly ritual passage
Some devine sacred sacrificial rite
Bleeding heart beats strong in you
You are born again
LIFE is taking flight.
For my sisters K. & M. with ALL my Love.
For my daughter G. with ALL my Love
When I was very young, between the age of 7 years and 9 years of age (always standing beside my two younger sisters, even younger), and we were facing the reality of watching our mother, Lynette (32 years) struggling to beat her losing battle with Cancer, our father for respite from all the sadness, used to send the three of us girls to a Sugar Cane / Dairy Cattle farm in the foothills of the Gold Coast Hinterland in Queensland, Australia. The farm was owned by my mother's relatives. It was a place of magic and constant adventure, that transported my sisters and I from the tragedy that was unfolding. I have factored this into my poem, the majesty of a Sugarcane Field Fire burning at night and in my mind, what I remember witnessing, as "Renewal of Life", and for a moment it seemed that fire could swallow just about anything that was bad. I remember quite vividly, the background of pungent smoke grey white blue across the darkness of the evening (we stood and watched it from late dusk into black darkness). I remember the smell of burnt toffee all around me and the various creatures of the night making themselves visible from their place of hiding. From the parameters of the farm and the safety of where I stood, It was something to behold that particular night when the Canefield fire's flames licked the distant parameters of the farm. This poem is about renewal and survival. Sometimes, it's hard to let go of the darkness, but if you can still see the fire glowing (of the true and good Light that is in you), you can fan it with your breath (your own life and belief in you), to bring back colour in your life (you just have to believe it is there still and trust in something that is much bigger and more powerful than you have been up to that point, is residing within you waiting for you to believe and to let it loose, let it fly .... this said in mind for myself and a lot of people who are close to me whom I care strongly for, or those of you I have not even met yet, maybe never will, who are suffering with depression or lack of self belief. But most importantly this poem is for g and scm. Some people don't believe that Love Conquers All. I do.). This is also a story about being wary of Bulls that are let out of their pen and are on the loose.... some are tame and some are not...Riding Bulls is another story for another time. x"
"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."
1. "GRACE", Jeff Buckley (Lyrics)
2. Lyrics (for scm, all is never lost)
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