Morning Nightmares
Woken up in a chilled, heated sweat, reaching to grab the overly expensive addiction of hers. A breath held in, releasing one of relief. A sip of her water later, eyes adjusting to the slits of what seemed to be a cloudy day. Fingers clutching around her phone drawing it to her face, staring back at the black screen showing tired eyes, sad. A peaceful night, with a restless morning slumber. Three hours of a nap turned her memories of last night so sour. Pursing her lips to the layout of the dream, if you could even call it that, nightmare possibly? To her perhaps. The scariest part was seeing something like that could be breathed into existence.
Clouded with jealously, a bit of heartache. This wasn’t her, but that’s what settled there. Before even bothering to message she let her mind replay the events… Decluttering the mix of what felt important from the random nonsense.
Not even present at the scene, still out on the night, this part seemed to be unclear of where she was. In the midst of her happiness, thriving on the moonlight’s fresh air. All to be interrupted by the chimes of her phone, was it a call, a message? Remembering the sound of his voice echoing to her, it must’ve been a call. Was the feeling of dread already there before she answered? Even with hesitation, it took less than a second for her to accept.
Silence greeted her. Before he spoke up, “Alyss?” A rugged, full of cigarettes and charm tone whispered to her. Returning a hello, he proceeded with the small talk of how has the night been, random things such as the weather, work, etc.
Til someone, somewhere let a door open, that should’ve stayed sealed. “I called.. Because I wanted to let you, that.. Please do not take this the wrong way. I will be going to a party tonight. And a friend of mine, I’ve known her since I have been here for the past two years. And tonight seems like the night she and I could possibly, well.. Sleep together.” He rambled on with his plans and ideals for this.
She took in a sharp breath. A hand placed around her heart, squeezing every drop of blood and oxygen out of it. With a small sound, “Why do you need this..?”
In the moment of a stutter he replied, “Please, I, we really need this. It’s one of her last moments before she leaves. I want to be able to give that to her like I have given it to you.” A tear slipped down her cheek with his last sentence, a flash of all the moments of lustful evenings that were fulfilled between them. With kisses following after, the exchanges of “I love you.”
Holding back the flood gates she held in, “What about the agreement on exclusivity..?” Shaking her head with a change of tone in her voice. “I suppose at this moment, me asking you not to would be selfish.” With that, she let out a laugh of distraught. “Here I am, breaking one of my own rules. Commitment. My love, if this is what you wish to have then so be in, but this will hurt me.”
The silence returned on his end, unsure if there were any more words that could be exchanged, before the click of the call ending.. She spoke up with a cough fixing the scratch of tears in her voice, “Well I hope you have a goodnight then.”
A scream was let out in the streets, the falling of her knees. Anyone would say this is what overdramatic is. To her, it was her world shattered with just a few sentences. Grief kept her heart consumed.
The film flips to yesterday, the day she met this friend of his for the first time. The way she ran up to him and threw herself in his arms, planting a kiss on what wasn’t hers. His eyes were bright. Blue.
Banging her fists on the pavement, bloodied. She sat there, her hair serving as a curtain. Snot, tears. A whole thunderstorm.
Between this breakdown, and getting to the party, all that was seen next was the two of them, not her, but the other girl and the man she had claimed love for on the bed. She wanted to avert her eyes as their spark had just been ignited between those two. But she couldn’t.
A hit back to reality, the movie ended. This nightmare, dream, and vision had concluded. The rehearsing left her speechless, a throat as dry as a desert. Not even the waterworks wanted to turn on after she had already had them in her sleep. The actions following? Of course, sending a gist to her best friend. The same man though? No, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Some things are best left unsaid. Already telling herself, that this isn’t what they agreed to, jealously was never written in their stars.
All of this should be left at a distance.
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