Chalk and Chores

CHALK and CHORES

There was no doubt that Lucan Popplewick had it all. Much acclaimed artist, with a published sixth book ‘Deft Strokes’ that was already a best seller ensured that Lucan enjoyed an abundance of flattery and adulation by students and colleagues alike. He erred on the side of eccentricity concentrating on a nouvelle style exclusive to himself with an unusual choice of subjects. He drew inspiration from plain day to day experiences, but with a difference. One of his masterpieces had featured a kitchen sink with a plethora of dirty dishes and saucepans awaiting to be washed and another depicted a lengthy washing line with all manner of laundry billowing in a back garden. He had succeeded in adding excitement and color to what would represent the mundanest of chores, always employing a variety of homemade tools that created unusual delineation and technique And as a result Lucan Popplewick had amassed a nice chunk of pie that afforded his wife an enviable lifestyle. Lucan himself was entirely uninterested in his accumulation of wealth, but as long as it pleased Flora. And Flora languished happily amid all her luxuries, hosting all manner of home events for fair weather friends as well as flaunting this affluence with spending sprees that knew no limits. And thus Flora and Lucan were chalk and cheese, but he reasoned that the money was there to be spent and always felt very relieved that it made her happy. Besides Lucan was rarely at home, immersing himself in his university work, lectures and picture production at the studio. He had recently been working on an innovative project that even involved nights away. His carpe deum outlook on life was a constant spur towards his life successes. A bed in his studio where he frequently kipped enabled him to maximize his work input. Flora had always been overly possessive, but this recent bout of absenteeism filled her with an oppressive jealousy. With long nights by herself, she had begun to develop strong feelings of mistrust fueled by the thoughtless comments of friends who had also observed his prolonged absence. Consumed by these negative thoughts, she had searched diligently through clothing, paper work and messages on the answerphone, eventually finding a scribbled crumpled note in a jacket pocket. The writing was barely legible but she could discern the gist. ‘See you in the studio at 8. I’m sooo excited. Bevxxx’ Flora could barely focus as tears formed and trickled down her heavily made up cheeks. They were tears of hurt and fury that he should prefer another over herself. She knew he would be returning late after an earlier call and as always he had spoken words of deep affection to her with promises of togetherness soon. It’s got to be a student she told herself. He’s all smarm and charm using words that mask what he really is. A two timing, two faced cheat!

Flora was now furiously bouncing her way to the studio in her red fiery Morgan negotiating the bends on the country lanes like a grand prix racing driver and would be there in twenty minutes. She was going to confront him then use his infidelity to secure a divorce with generous settlements in her favor. Things were going to be different now. After storming the steps of the tenement building which housed the studio, she hesitated by the door and listened closely. A woman’s voice was talking in sultry tones while Lucan responded with words of encouragement. Zealous creaking and groaning noises accompanied Lucan’s voice again. ‘Nearly finished.’ It said. ‘We’ll do all this again tomorrow.’ ‘I’ll be here.’ The woman responded enthusiastically. That was enough for Flora. She flung open the door ready to issue forth an impromptu tirade. The scene that confronted her caused her to freeze on the spot in total disbelief. Lucan was seated at an easel painting on the largest canvass she had ever seen, while the woman was ironing clothes on a creaky ironing board. She was dressed in Mrs Mop garb with a scarf securely tied round her hair and an unlit cigarette idling from the corner of her mouth.

‘Flora!’ Lucan uttered in surprise. ‘ I’m glad you came. It’s nice to know you are showing an interest in my work. This is going to be my best yet. Bev has been helping me achieve it. She’s one of my top students. My aim is to express the chore of ironing as a thing of beauty you see. When it is finished, people will look upon ironing in a different light. Yes, my best!’

Flora looked incredulous. He was mad, a complete fruit and nutcase furthermore she was married to him. Chalk and cheese.

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