I do not remember telling him how his kindness to me made a major impression on my life, but I did share the same with his wife and daughter some time after his demise.   Moreover, I suspect that he knew that what he did for me had a lasting impact upon my life.  I have no doubt that with plan and purpose, with prayer and personal interest, Bob gifted me with a 2 pound can of ground coffee.  From the beginning, I discerned that Bob was  not trying to satisfy my taste for coffee.  At the time, I was not a regular coffee drinker, but rather I drank coffee as a survival tool when I was a delivery driver.  However, as a result of Bob’s good deed, I started to drinking coffee every morning.

I must tell you that the primary action of Bob was not about doing a good deed, but about connecting to another human being that was in many respects ‘disconnected’.  Nor was the gift of coffee really about the coffee, but rather it was about reaching out to another man who at the time had very little interest in personal interaction.  You see, Bob’s coffee contact with me is one of the answers to a creeping reality in     our communities today.   My reality of disconnection was my own response to disappointments and adversities.  Our world is in a ‘major disconnect’ for its own myriad of reasons.

Blame it on the internet and cell phone if you wish; convince yourself that our culture and the millennial generation have divided and separated us from one another.  Tell yourself that emails and text messaging is the new normal.  Nevertheless, may we never cease to reach out and physically touch.  May we forever look people in their eyes, showing and telling them that we care.

Yes, there is a real and present need to reach out to the strangers, the visitors, the quiet and invisible ones, and the one who comes and goes, with few ever getting to know their names.  May we go the extra mile to acquaint one’s self with that one who would rather not be bothered.  We do not have to smother or over zealously invade their privacy, but we must respectfully find a way to enter their space.

In my case, Bob broke through the thick wall that I had built, and on which there hang an invisible sign that could be clearly read by any who dared.  Sometimes, if we like Bob, would dare to read the sign but ignore its request; or if we would but pretend that we did not see the expressive face and body language which said, “Don’t bother Me”, we might just be surprised with the response we get.   Love is not bound with a fear of barriers and walls.  Love sees no partition that it is not willing to penetrate.

Bob was a loving conduit through which the electricity of God’s love flowed.  The coffee was simply an instrument that could easily have been an invitation to dinner, a gift card from Starbucks, or a ticket to a movie.  The tool is relative; it’s the conduit that really matters and makes a world of difference.

No, it was not a ‘random act of kindness’, but rather a very specific and targeted act.  As a result of Bob’s one act of kindness, he opened a doorway to my heart and life that led to a wonderful, though short, friendship.  There were several occasions in which Bob and I would engage in interesting conversations.  As a result, I learned of Bob’s many interests and of the service station business he once owned.  

I recall a story of a heat wave that hit Chicago several years ago.  A number of elderly people died not only because they were without air conditioning, but because they had no one who checked on them on a regular basis.   They lived alone; they died alone.  This tragedy caused the city to implement a system of connecting with the elderly in ways that disallow a similar misfortune. 

Bob never lived to see how I began to open up and relate to other people.  It’s amazing what things can happen when we simply allow ourselves to be conduits.  Bob was a conduit through which love flowed  from his heart to mine.  The tool was a 2 pound can of Coffee.  The power of love and a can of coffee.    Who knew?  cj08262014