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Wakin' Up Dead
I woke up one morning,
A pain rose through my head;
I looked down at the mattress,
And saw that I was dead!
My wife stood there crying,
While the kids loudly wept;
Somehow I had slipped away,
That night I'd soundly slept!
Those who truly hated me,
Were suddenly my kin;
Oh, how worldly possessions,
Makes them forget your sins!
Ripping through our front door,
Like a big ol' rabid bear;
They took my simple clothing,
Even my favorite chair!
My flat screen and computer,
Waltzed right through the door;
Those dirty, rotten savages,
Stepped back in for more!
My wife called the cops,
They arrived in an hour or so;
The scene was a mini battlefield,
As they joined in on the fiasco!
Pictures, lamps, and dishes,
These animals didn't care;
They took the last roll of toilet paper,
Who said that crap was fair?!
Both cars were missing,
No one cares about the dead;
I was stripped completely naked,
While I laid there on my bed!
Thank God these human rodents,
Never returned for more;
All that remained for my family,
Was a box spring on the floor!
Although I never died that day,
I embraced a nightmare's chill;
I dashed for a pen and paper,
Then started on my will!
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