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Autopsy on Self

I cannot love you.

At least, not anymore.
If even there was ever love left in the cacophony 
Behind my burning eyelids,
The osseous cavity that I emptied 
Out like bathwater into the sea.

I am not who I was.

I am not okay with what I have become.
I drug along every mistake I made,
Salted the wounds,
And buried myself in them for days.

I cannot walk away.

I cannot love you because I am not sure
I will be here for you in the days to come.
I am not sure I deserve the body I bruised—
The rib cage pried open so I could reach my arms through.

Certainly I do not deserve you.

The scars I forged will mean something again some day,
But they are not for you;
They are mine alone to answer to.

They cleanse me like antiseptic through a metal sieve;

If I don't make it back, 

Then I don't get to live.


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  1. Date: 3/6/2015 12:17:00 AM

    This poem is very creative from the interesting perspective of anatomy and powerful in its presentation. I give it a 7!