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A Hillbilly Eats His First Bagel

By Elton Camp

Old Bubba had spent his life in the hills
Plain food and drink from whiskey stills

So to the big city he decided he’d go
For about other things he’d like to know

He spent the night at the local YMCA
For breakfast, to a café the next day

Soon, Bubba had a bagel on his plate
Because, on the menu, it looked great

He tried to take a bite and then to cut
“Man, thet’s shore a sorry donut!”

“I never seen one thet hard and tough.”
Bubba began to chew and had enough

To the waitress, he began to bawl
“This thang ain’t go no taste at all.”

“I see why city folks air sick an’ pale.
Th’ Devil made this donut down in hale.”

So Bubba quickly packed up his gear
“I hate sich food so I’ll git out of here!”

So back to his home in the hills he fled
“Don’t never go there,” to all he said

“Fer I jest half to tell ye th’ truth
On a donut I almost broke my tooth.”


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  1. Date: 11/23/2014 5:16:00 AM

    Made me giggle Elton - I don't like bagels at all but i am partial to the odd jam doughnut:-) hugs jan xx
  1. Date: 11/22/2014 8:52:00 PM

    ha! very funny poem, elton (even though i'm a jewish city gal and eat a bagel every day for breakfast!).
  1. Date: 11/22/2014 6:46:00 PM

    Sure did enjoy your Bagel of a poem and take of how a Hillbilly almost broke his tooth. Quite frankly they are quite fattening.... Take care this I feel does rate a definite 7 in my books.... Eve
  1. Date: 11/22/2014 2:56:00 PM

    Cute poem Elton. Let's face it bagels are a far cry from an old fashion donut. :-).