Two poets who couldn't agree
Raise their voices to their loud pleas
One wasn't able to stop
His zip open, out pops!
Haha, it's a pea, not the size of a tree
©J. A. Fraser and O. E. Guillermo 15.18pm, April 07, 2015
I once had a gray cat that could clog
and was better than any old dog.
His feet work was fast
but stardom didn’t last
when he fell for this stunning tree frog.
My gray cat and tree frog was to wed
on night he was to dance for our bread.
He got very sick
when frog he did lick
was quiet toxic, now gray cat is dead.
When gray cat finally reached cloud nine
told gate keeper he was feeling fine.
Though he looked green
he captured the scene
when he clogged to the front of the line.
Copyright © 2011 By Caryl S. Muzzey
Nineth Place Winner ~ "Any Funny Poem” Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Destroyer Poet
Aug. 14, 2011
An Egyptian I never could be,
but since reading of their history,
in limerick form
I now write to inform
my friends of the Gods’ family tree.
From “Waters of Chaos” came Nun,
the only God under the sun.
The first piece of ground
rose up as a mound.
Hun stood there and coughed up a son!
Hun spat out the God of Air, Shu,
and he spat out a cute goddess too.
Tefnut was her name.
Moisture was her fame.
She and Shu beget children - two!
Their son was named Geb; the girl, Nut.
I’m not sure how to say her name, but
I sure like to say
Goddess Sky’s name the way
that rhymes with the famous King Tut.
When he laughed, the son Geb, “God of Earth,”
made the earth shake beneath his great girth.
I think Geb is busy
in modern days, for he
quakes often, for he’s fond of mirth!
For the tale to proceed, there ensued
some more incest, and not to be crude,
Nut, the Goddess of Sky,
got it on with the guy,
King of Earth, and they had a big brood.
There came forth from their coupling,
Queen Isis and a new Earth King,
Osiris, who was
a good king because
he ruled all rebirth, a great thing!
One son, against harmony, came
to kill Osiris, and his name
was Seth; once again
like the story of Cain -
an envious brother to blame.
But Seth got his just desserts when,
having married his Mom Isis, then
he was killed by HIS son,
named Horus, who won
the throne, and so “good” ruled again.
From Seshat to Sekmet to Rah,
Gods were worshipped by ancients with awe.
You’d have worshipped them too
had you been born to do
your poems on papyrus. Ha ha.
In a land far away is a tree,
In which there lives a small bee,
His continuous buzz,
Is the work that he does,
It seems like a good job to me.
Racism is what really annoys me
For we were all in the very same tree
When we came down to the ground
We just spread around
And that's how there is you and there's me
He really was as dumb as a tree stump
Carried all his weight in his big old rump
But I fell for his line
And made him all mine
'Cause he was as sweet as dear Forest Gump
Two monkeys laughed their heads off in a tree.
It was because of the sight they did see.
There was a hole in the ground.
Three moles scratched and jumped around.
They were bitten by a lunatic flea.
© October 9, 2011
~~~"You're Going To Break Your Neck ! " ~~~
I see red and orange amidst the green.
Occasionally faces can be seen
hiding in the branches there,
climbing trees without a care
and I order them down 'cause I'm just mean.
They're up above the ground, oh so high.
Any closer and they could touch the sky.
"Hey you, get your butt down!"
I bellow , with a frown
and they grudgingly climb down with a sigh.
Memories are short and they're up there again.
My nerves are starting to feel the strain.
"Get out of that tree right now!"
I holler like a mad cow.
Acting responsible is just a pain.
The sun is out and the kids are wild.
The poor trees out front are now defiled.
Beneath the tree is now found
broken branches all around,
but at least no broken bones of a child.
~~not 'the end,' I'm sure~~~
P A L M T R E E D E L I G H T
Written by Catherine Reinke
In your arms, I lay behold ,
gentle winds and sea salt kiss.
Shade full arms from hot sun bold
coco milk sweet, lovers dish.
My naked skin, sun loves to play
lying under this palm tree day.
Listen to your arms wind sound.
No gentler tender song I’ve found.
Tension, grief, sorrow and more,
all left behind seaside’s door.
For here life’s origins, beget and made
ancient past lives, memories to fade.
But here in Tulum, my friendship sea
I find myself, in gentle palm tree.
And so from youth my memory serves
a poem that retold again deserves.
“that only God can make a tree and
…poems are written by fools like me”
Truly then and true today
That Godly art create tree play.
For made he did a vast array
charming comfort of trees I say.
Strong steadfast oaks.
Lilac purples for ones pillow.
Cedar pillars ancient.
Rain forest lush,
only the palm tree
makes me bush.
Round coco breasts filled with milk.
Erect pillar penetrating fronds of silk.
So, in your arms I want to be
naked, contentment, happy and free.
And so end my tree poetic attempt
of my love affair palm tree spent.
Samantha once scampered a tree
To see whatever she could see.
So far up did she boost
That an owl came to roost
On Sammy's precarious knee.
The old tree Lee had the seed of an idea
He wanted blisters on skin for diarrhea
Meeting was held in Casablanca
All wrote limerick haiku tanka
Compost bed urea soup and Cytherea
© Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty
18 December 2014
There once was a great man named Poet,
He sat, ‘neath a tree, with Bob- his pet.
He would wish all the time
That he could write a rhyme,
But instead settled for cigarette.