Tortured Memories

My rational and irrational thoughts as always come out and start to spar with each other in an all too familiar bitter sweet and obnoxious way: identical twin brothers who don’t even have the energy and wherewithal to despise each other but continue to have the ‘wisdom’ to loathe the people they have become to the detriment of an adult who still aspires to embrace and caress the inner child with a knowing affection even though his parents, in spite of themselves, contrived to present a marriage, a family refuge, (don’t make me laugh) which all too often resulted in so many angry and aggressive arguments, night after night as my sister and I tried to sleep upstairs in their so called marital bed. My sister and I, well, we haven’t spoken for years. When I see her again will I embrace an adult, a sister, who is now fifty years old, or like me, a still terrified four year old child who has spent his life, alone,