Home » Poems » Charles Henderson » Sijo 1- Roasting

Sijo 1- Roasting

roasting in the sun I lay brick, one by one in mute perfection ahhh, the flavor of lemonade as I fan the gnats from sweat but the sweetest flavor tasted is bragging of who did the work

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 10/13/2013 9:08:00 AM

yep, this was the last one I had seen before.

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 8/21/2013 12:20:00 AM

charles, this seems to me very much like the kind of poetry presented in Deb's sijo blog, but since I am no expert, I can only believe that it looks like good sijo. I am more a traditionalist and just enjoy doing them with three lines. But I think it looks cool how you laid out the lines!

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 8/20/2013 8:28:00 PM

seems fine Chas, I like the image both of us had gnats on the brain today, I'm not crazy about the way you laid out the lines, why did you do it like that? [was there a method to your madness?] L & L

Charles Henderson
Date: 8/20/2013 9:24:00 PM

I wanted a pause between the two halves. This is different enough from normal haiku or monoku to give that pause without the dots, apostrophe or blank space. I find I do not want to read the halves straight on, but one, stop and look, then the other.

Barbara Gorelick

Date: 8/20/2013 4:48:00 PM

Im getting to love this form although I haven't quite figured it out yet..this is wonderful. BG