She Moves Her Eyes, Raising Them Slowly

She moves her eyes, raising them slowly and looks at the sun, rising in the sky her every thought convulsing into continuous questions of why She moves all day, her steps suppressed every movement prim and wonderfully dressed but happiness and sadness kept merging as smoke as she chided her heart for things it spoke Has she not wandered, in her so many dreams free of fetters like a free flowing stream surrounded with thoughts of such delight and everything good taken to extremes She remembers that child, that lived in her for even now, she lived in her hidden by gestures so carefully controlled so no one would know, she lived in her At times, she closes her eyes and carefully wanders what could have been, she thinks and ponders what her life is and what it is not what she has found and what she has squandered Is it fate this forced happiness so much conformation to things unsaid can she ever reveal what she truly feels with someone just listening to what she has said Her heart still longs for that love the kind that fits them both like a glove she wants to give that something she hides just once to be herself without all her divides No one knows, what it is truly like yes - no one knows what it is truly like when a heart is freely given to merge and unmerge without edges