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Perceiving Colors (Part Two, Brian's Contest)

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Below is the poem entitled Perceiving Colors (Part Two, Brian's Contest) which was written by poet Michael Jordan. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Perceiving Colors (Part Two, Brian's Contest)

All the colors that my eyes see
Seem to become a part of me

The red that bleeds my angry days
The gray that shades my darkest ways

The forest green that brings me ease
The purple tracks from my disease

Toni’s black dress that blesses my nights
Faith is now my pillow of white

Colors lead to one conclusion
The rainbow is God’s illusion

Through the rainbow what my eyes see
I perceive immorality

For within the words that I write
The will in man to face the fight

To change his life and learn to be
A child of God proud and free

Everyone perceives, as they will
I can only write what I feel

I feel these colors in my soul
God’s rainbow leads to streets of gold

I made a couple of minor changes to 
part one because it was brought to my
attention that couplets should stay on
syllable count throughout, I never knew
that. I hope that's ok. If not I will use
the original part one for they're very similar
Part one & two for Sir. Brian's contest.

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  1. Date: 9/24/2009 1:15:00 PM
    Lovely thoughts Mike. Those words of yours are like cannonballs of fire,decimating the hills.Full marks. Rgds, Prince

  1. Date: 9/23/2009 9:00:00 AM
    This is a wonderful couplet Michael, I think the changes to part one is part of the process that Brian is looking for, for as we rewrite and add some things change for the better to make the whole a better piece, the flow is wonderful and content is outstanding! Good luck with Brians contest/experiment! ~Trudy~

  1. Date: 9/21/2009 1:11:00 PM
    Great job, have covered the colors and perception beautifully! ~ love, Carrie

  1. Date: 9/21/2009 12:12:00 PM
    Many colours and an excellent multi-coloured presentation , MJ . Best of luck in the contest ..

  1. Date: 9/20/2009 10:22:00 PM
    Nice work MJ, best of luck in the contest...Raul

  1. Date: 9/20/2009 7:06:00 PM
    Great write, MJ. Especially love the way you end the poem with "God's rainbow leads to streets of gold." I think you have a winner! Love, Carolyn