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Malapropisms and Mondegreens

Tim Ryerson Avatar Tim Ryerson - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Malapropisms and Mondegreens which was written by poet Tim Ryerson. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Malapropisms and Mondegreens

One light, I was out panting the clown red when I met a Sadie from Francis who I found to be quiet subtractive. It was apparel she thought I was distracted two because she ted, “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?” To witch I supplied "You can let your coucher I due.”
Sew, we dove to a rotel and wented a womb and that’s where it all rent wong. I dimply could NOT maintain my direction! I even deported to taking two extra-length Niagras butt no lice! My ergo was scattered to say the piece, although she was quiet patent with me at second, basking, “Comment allez-vous, mon ami?” I dancered, "Not very bien, mon cherry, déjà vu?"
Swell cokes, let me sell ya, she was so beset and vivid it took a few momentums for her to apply. FINALITY she basked (In broken England) “Deja who? Who is Déjà and what the PLUCK has Vu got to do with the price of a flea on a panda in Angina?”
To take a short story long, she got it up, put her clothes back off and resorted, “Au revoir, tu salopard!”
"Salopardon madamit? Did you dust ball me a dastard?" She had the VERVE to say: ”If the necker shrinks, then bare it, and your pepper sure did slink and you better relieve THAT, you old pool!”
Whelp, I won’t go into any moor of the sorted retails here. Needles to hay, I will sever foreskin that incidental and will always dismember that humilitating tight
I depose one gives and sperms…

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? – Do you want to sleep with me tonight?
Comment allez-vous, mon ami? – How are you doing my friend?
Tres bein, et vous? -  Very good, and you?
Mon cher - My dear
Au revior, tu salopard – Goodbye, you bastard

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  1. Date: 2/15/2014 8:55:00 PM
    Bone dew! Trey sheik! Love it! Kill damage! Wish I had read it sooner. Chers, Roi

  1. Date: 2/14/2014 5:40:00 AM
    oi, oi, what a poem. Tim, thanks for the early greet. I wrote my Houston poem for my hubby. all of a sudden he's claiming he loves me. After giving me 2 years of cold shoulder. I have no eyes for others, unless you're the milk man. lmfao. Take care & enjoy Valentine's Day with family and friends. :) ~SKAT"

    Ryerson Avatar Tim Ryerson
    Date: 2/14/2014 6:35:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I AM the milkman, the one and only...Delivery gauranteed at your front step or your money back (You DO take checks don't you?)
  1. Date: 12/30/2013 2:26:00 PM
    OMG that was fantastic, I couldn't do I really couldn't! Just wonderful should have been a number one hands down! Where are you? How are the holidays coming? Happy New Year! Light & Love

  1. Date: 12/29/2013 4:41:00 AM
    Enjoyed your poem and congratulations on the fine win,Tim

  1. Date: 12/28/2013 9:23:00 PM
    Tim, I enjoyed the poem, but did not smile much by the end... But it was an awesome poem... :) , CONGRATULATIONS, thank you for supporting my SMILE contest. :) Wishing you a Warm And Heartfelt New Year. Take care.... LINDA

  1. Date: 11/11/2013 4:30:00 AM
    Congratulations on the win, Tim

  1. Date: 11/10/2013 9:29:00 PM
    Tim... Congratulations, thanks for the support..... ~SKAT~ LOVE

  1. Date: 7/27/2013 8:54:00 PM
    Returning again. :) Haha, oh Tim! Don't feel bad at all- I read so many poems every week I can quite easily understand your confusion! By the way, thanks for totally flattering me by adding my villanelle to your faves list regardless. :) Thank you so very much! Big hugs!

  1. Date: 7/27/2013 7:06:00 PM
    Returning your comment- I don't recall posting a poem that said anything along those lines- you must have someone else in mind!

  1. Date: 7/27/2013 4:58:00 PM
    Hahahaha! This is GREAT! Roy is gonna love this if he hasn't read it yet!

  1. Date: 7/27/2013 2:53:00 PM
    LOL, I'm still laughing as I write - congrats on all your wins, Tim : )

  1. Date: 7/27/2013 5:45:00 AM
    Hehehe..Merci mon ami..Tres jolie..C est la vie : )..Tu vas bien aujourd hui?Hope you re fine today..Lovely poem...Tim

  1. Date: 7/26/2013 2:03:00 PM
    Lmao.....very funny, almost sounds like a different language that hasnt been discoveredyet:) awesome.ty cherie..

  1. Date: 7/26/2013 9:10:00 AM
    hahahaha. Geez, I can never finish a poem of yours in one go. Start-crack up-stop-start-crack up-stop. At least I've learnt not to have coffee while I'm reading you. lol. I have to wonder what's going on in your head. WELL DONE, FAVE POET MINE. Licia :-)

  1. Date: 7/26/2013 9:08:00 AM
    HAAAAAA! I'm hearing the dialects in my head and it's cracking me up! This was a damn joy to read!

  1. Date: 7/26/2013 9:04:00 AM
    Ha ha ha, this is cantastc, owed you cum up wit dis won?