Submit Your Poems
Get Your Premium Membership

If I were a Guy, I'd

Natalie The Rogue Rhymer Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled If I were a Guy, I'd which was written by poet Natalie The Rogue Rhymer. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

Read Poems by Natalie The Rogue Rhymer

Best Natalie The Rogue Rhymer Poems

+ Fav Poet

If I were a Guy, I'd

If I were a guy…I’d…

Go on a hunt
Learn to punt
Fix my own brakes
Eat rare steaks
Sport long johns
Stomp on tampons
Start bar fights
Ignore red lights
Swing a big axe
Stare at huge racks
Pack a huge luger
Nail a rich cougar!

*For Frank's Contest

Post Comments

Please Login to post a comment
  1. Date: 7/23/2012 5:51:00 PM
    I might be upset if it weren't spot on ......well maybe not the tampon stamping hahaha. Very funny. I LOL'ed.

  1. Date: 6/2/2012 5:31:00 PM
    he he, if you were a guy??? oh my,, your ending is funny,,, pd

  1. Date: 3/31/2012 8:45:00 AM
    What a guy you'd be Natalie, but you look better as you are. Has a great swing and will do well in the contest! Luv, Lizzie

  1. Date: 3/22/2012 3:26:00 PM
    So cute - this made laugh. Best of luck inthe contest.

  1. Date: 3/14/2012 12:04:00 AM
    this is SO GREAT. One of the better ones I've seen, and I love the one, stomp on tampons. Now THAT's the old GIRL coming out in you. Awesome last line. I hope you SCORE with THIS. Luv, Andrea

  1. Date: 3/13/2012 5:59:00 AM
    very funny write good luck in contest

  1. Date: 3/12/2012 11:05:00 PM
    rock on...BeYonce'! I like these parts the best: Rare steaks, bar fights, huge racks, lugers The Pistole Parabellum 1908 or 9mm) and rich cougar bangin'...and just to be clear...umm I only like all of that stuff "POETICALLY Speaking"...In NO way, shape, or form do any of those amazing things, I mean stupid stuff appeal to me....umm yeh, That being said...I am a good, honest guy!~ oh, yeh, do u know of any rich cougars, b/c I have this friend, he, umm wanted me to ask you...:)

  1. Date: 3/12/2012 2:50:00 PM
    cute little poem Natalie, I love your style.

  1. Date: 3/12/2012 9:45:00 AM
    Maybe a girl who becomes a guy would "stomp on tampons" but a guy would never get anywhere close to those things - they scare the hell out of us!! Very creative, witty and fun read. A sure winner in the contest. But, Natalie, if you were a guy, I'd give homosexuality a try! LOL Joe

  1. Date: 3/11/2012 8:04:00 PM
    I am laughing sooooooo hard !!! Love it !!

  1. Date: 3/11/2012 7:34:00 PM
    love it! "stomp on tampons" is hilarious! good luck in the contest - sounds like a winner to me!

  1. Date: 3/11/2012 7:18:00 PM
    Oh yes! Very Good!