I See!

I see how u look at those gurls that walk down the street how can i be so stupid my weight s whats the problem. I see how late at night when u think am asleep how u secretly get up and look at ****!! how can this be..? I feel so lost to this so ugly on the outside but so beautiful inside how can this be help me it just wont go away!! The pain i feel how do i make this stop ? I see how hide ur phone so i wont see the call nor the pictures ho can i be so stupid i had ur child for u but its like u dont want me to lose the weight just locked up in the house how can i let this happen i used to be strong??!! How can i be so stupid i love u but yet u hide from me u cant bear to look at me nor touch me how can u be so cruel am not allowed to leave alone !! how can i be myself if u want me to pretend to be someone else?? Every time i try to act like myself its like u shut me down!! I see how it is how life must be some day life will change i just keep hopeing god will ease my pain as quicklyy as possible i love my son but to see u makeing me suffer like no one should i prefer to give my life in gods hands!!!