Hollow Poetry Critiques-Brutal and Wrong

Waking me in the wake of her brilliance words spoken,written in convoluted high tones ringing meaning esoteric and quite unknown the craft was hyped in meteoric terms shining bright, sending craven tremulous brain numb. Harking, in glory she strode the road on which no one else was allowed they lined up till she ticketed them for her rich comments looking at the teeming crowd I too went and pushed as a throng on. She was allaying the fears of an unwary(me included) do not worry if you do not know'tense agreement' I am here and with you the manna heaven sent I would 'salad';I would 'marinate'; I would'contemplate' and 'I would ruiminate',for heck as sure I would, your poem would come out shining from wood wait till I am through with that ,sit there in suspense as I put on spectacles English and thrash you hence the poor bloke waited with breath baited like a rabbit flagellating as a helpless bait. After an hour, the wise lady looked up gave a list of typos to the poor bloke as his corrective sup and in the end she wrote with ten spell mistakes of her own galore this poem was all wrong and even the topic was actually this guy should have come to me and got the poem written by me on a topic of my choice and claimed this was his and will be it was only then would I give a positive critique as it stands it is a loser because this do-no-good pooh phah phah, is the author. Now let me do the right thing somebody close has died yes,he did and they did not lie I began a poem for lament but that young bloke came like scent I forgot the lament and wrote a collaboration of ass cream whip and ah! in it sent. Well the critique royale with her hyped and marketed skills is on to her next critiquing ticket.