Giving Up

I cut myself today made me feel re leaved since shes doing weed with her friends behind my back and i think shes dating this 26 year old guy from her work why not i do the same theres a time for everything and today wasnt my first and have a feeling not my last my head was spinning and my heart was racing fast needed something to block out her lies and something to relieve the pain im sick of holding my head down in shame sick of having thoughts of her doing me wrong constantly going through my brain sick and tired of her little games feels like the 3 years we have been together is going down the drain as push comes to shove in the end all i wanted was her love but i guess im not good enough my heart has disintegrated from all the guys she has dated but i guess if shes happy thats all that matters ill just stay around until the beat stops and my heart shatters