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Fatal Valentine

Deirdre Omaidin Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Fatal Valentine which was written by poet Deirdre Omaidin. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Fatal Valentine

He rose
She watched
He paused
She gazed
He twitched
She sighed
He packed
She froze
He waited
She turned
He glanced
She shivered
He moved
She whispered
He paced
She sobbed
He freaked
She called
He frowned
She pleaded
He kissed
She wept
He turned
She knew
He left

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  1. Date: 1/21/2011 4:29:00 AM
    This is quite a riveting and sad write Deidre ;) Wilma

  1. Date: 12/31/2009 11:36:00 AM
    Very nice Deirdre, Lovely indeed. Go into your personal info click the box I want to receive Soup mail...and you should be able to receive....Great write....Taz

  1. Date: 10/2/2009 9:22:00 AM
    Great piece. Written with such passion. Love it.

  1. Date: 3/10/2009 11:16:00 AM
    You wrote I read You waited I smiled You read I wrote: That was awesome

  1. Date: 2/14/2009 8:50:00 AM
    Dear Dierdre, this poem beautifully tells such a sad story. I hope "he" has been replaced by someone more worthy of such a talented, sensitive woman.

  1. Date: 2/8/2009 2:12:00 PM
    That was artistically written and captured my attention every step of the way. I felt like I was watching this couple change their life play by play. Beautiful- Monique

  1. Date: 2/8/2009 12:11:00 PM
    wowser!!!!! I thought one of them was going to shoot the other oneLOL good write. Light & LOve Debbie

  1. Date: 2/7/2009 10:41:00 AM
    rivioting piece of poetry here with this great write so sad but excellectly written

  1. Date: 2/7/2009 7:27:00 AM
    well writtrn vignette Deirdre.Style suits the pace very well.rgds Brian & thanks for your welcom comments

  1. Date: 2/6/2009 6:25:00 PM
    Great poem...sad but so true for some unfortunately. Hope your valentine's day is better then this! Kristin

  1. Date: 2/6/2009 1:44:00 PM
    oooh my! not a happy valentine, so sry for them...if they r real...sweet write!...*/*Maryam

  1. Date: 2/6/2009 12:33:00 PM
    So , that bear hug , did'nt work !! .. Deirdre this is a superb piece of story telling , in a most unique way ... Excellent !!! ..

  1. Date: 2/6/2009 11:52:00 AM
    Oh my, that's horrible! Not the poem, style or writing mind you, but the happening, what occured for the two of them. That's not a way to spend a Valentine. Michael