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Double Solitaire--Make Their Jaws Drop Contest

On the edge of town, in a painted house, with unclad shades of gray the north winds claim the somber dawn, on a dismal winter day The trees bend low and the sun peeks in, as he slowly leaves his bed Then with rote routine, the coffee perks. Next, he grabs the frozen bread Four vinyl chairs, Formica clad, a game of solitaire Before him sits a plate of food, at a table set for one A cup of cold, a cigarette, and he who sits alone The room depicts, what might have been, but reeks with wrought despair Inaudible, just barely heard, he hums a song they knew He tells her that the coffee's done, and offers her a chair He shuffles cards, a few for her, and pours a cup of brew He sips his own, then cuts the deck ........for double solitaire He takes a puff, then bites the crust, charred taste of toasted bread For company, she stares at him across the morning's edge, Her body propped against the wall, beneath the wooden ledge Her fixed eyes stare, as if surprised... . The one-eyed Jack is red ______________________________________________________

Copyright © | Year Posted 2013




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Date: 10/15/2015 9:36:00 PM
Hi Carrie, glad to see this on the top of the winning list. SKAT
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Date: 10/14/2015 7:44:00 PM
Chilling and so well conceived. Congrats on your win.
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Date: 10/14/2015 2:56:00 PM
Please see my comment below...Nothing much to add to that but three words: Wow and WOW...
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Date: 10/14/2015 7:51:00 AM
Gruesome, Carrie. Loved it.
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Date: 10/13/2015 10:51:00 PM
Creative poem, congratulations
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Date: 10/13/2015 10:37:00 PM
Congrats on ur awesome win Carrie!
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Date: 10/13/2015 9:44:00 PM
Carrie' thank you. nate
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Date: 6/12/2013 9:53:00 AM
Oh my, Carrie-- you honestly made me do a double take on that 5th stanza of yours-- I didn't suspect that and made me read it again-- you definitely set the eerie tone so well here with the vivid descriptions that you do so wonderfully well! I can just picture this and with just the right mix of creepiness to it! Super congrats on your 1st place win, so happy to see your name up there!
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Date: 6/11/2013 4:50:00 PM
Chills!...I don't know where to begin on this one. You describe this eerie scene perfectly and then the 5th verse...Wow, that almost knocked me outta my chair! Also, 'double solitaire'...What a contrast! Congratulations my friend - Tim
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Date: 6/11/2013 3:46:00 PM
So well done! Congratulations
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Date: 6/11/2013 3:43:00 PM
the first stanza sets the tone for this macabre tale....congrats on a great win
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Date: 6/11/2013 5:33:00 AM
very good read. congrats, randy
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Date: 6/11/2013 12:27:00 AM
Wow :) Gave me the chills :) Congrats on the win
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Date: 6/10/2013 2:12:00 PM
Very unique and very creepy & would make a grand Flash Fiction! I bet you could pump this up to 600 words NO problem! The rhythm adds to the suspense! [The room's reek of might have been fills with despair.] Congrad's on your win Light & Love [soup mail me your email & I will send an example!]
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Date: 6/10/2013 2:05:00 PM
congrats in Roy's contest............. SKAT
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Date: 6/10/2013 1:50:00 PM
I KNEW this one would win! Congrats! :)
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Date: 6/10/2013 1:13:00 PM
yes shall not sleep tonight. congratulations Carrie xx
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Date: 6/10/2013 12:50:00 PM
Congratulations on the top spot, Carrie! I'll be posting a blog with additional comments.
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Date: 6/3/2013 5:25:00 PM
Wow, did this ever give me shivers!!! Absolutely fantastic! And thank you for your sweet comment on my "Sunflower Summers" poem - How fun would it be to round up the poets on here for wine and cheese on a summer patio?? :)
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Date: 5/27/2013 11:37:00 PM
Nc Poem. I also joined this contest, my entry is "Come Out and Play". Best of lucks to both of us
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Date: 5/27/2013 7:57:00 PM
WOW! The imagery in your poem is fantastic! An excellent piece, Carrie! A winner for sure! Love, Kim
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Book: Shattered Sighs