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Computer Chair Woes: A Collaboration with Chris :D Aechtner

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Below is the poem entitled Computer Chair Woes: A Collaboration with Chris :D Aechtner which was written by poet wala na. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Computer Chair Woes: A Collaboration with Chris :D Aechtner

How do people do it?
For that matter, how do I pull it off?
Sitting in front of the computer for so many hours,
body compressed into a computer chair.
Feel a whole decade older than I actually am-
aching bones,
stiff joints,
sore muscles.
Eyes all dried out
as I get up from the chair
with a cramped neck,
my back temporarily doubled over
until my muscles warm up and loosen a little.

Tired, I slink back into my err-NO-Go-meek (ergonomic?!) chair
I check my butt...wiggle a bit...
Damn. Still spacious?? I want to feel SNUG!
So I sink my teeth into 4 inches of
Chunky Hunky Mega Chocolate Cocoa Cuckoo Overload Bar
Mmmm, this will go straight to my ass...

...there, it finally happened....officially lodged into the computer chair-
knew better than to eat so much chocolate while sitting for hours.
Too embarrassed to call an emergency crew,
I will have to wheel around the house, stuck in this chair,
until enough calories have burned away,
enabling me to dislodge these chocolaty buttocks
and taste some upright, biped freedom again.

Figured I could start losing those calories
by going on a mouse clicking frenzy
Flexing my pointer finger, I start clicking away
Click....click...click...'til a tic in my eye develops
Yup, don't care what I'm clicking on,
as long as that staccato beat resonates in my ears...
fingertips sweating, I go into a trance-

fall asleep at the keyboard,
image of the screen imprinted on my retinas,
dreaming about clicking the mouse.
Fast clicks, slow clicks, double and triple-clicks!
Many hours afterwards, 
the sound is still trapped in my brain,
slowly driving me completely insane-
*click*  *click, click*  *clickety-click*

How do people do it?
For that matter, how do I pull it off?
Sitting in front of the computer for hours on end...
My good ol' mouse answered that for me
It rolled over my arm,
massaged me on my back and shoulders,
taking out the knots in the process
and headed straight to my butt, just wedged itself in, snuggled there
*click!* *click* *Clickety-clickkk!*
my butt cheeks were now doing the clicking
This is beyond me, never knew I could do that!
Pain shoots up my thighs--going higher
Uggh. Butt cramps!
Shaking my head, I reach for the mouse,
instead, my fingers touch something soft, sticky...brown
Ah, yes!
My butt is glued to my chair with             chocolate.


             *click!*




07302011

-- well I sure enjoyed writing this one with Chris ;) 

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  1. Date: 12/31/2011 9:54:00 AM
    nikko, just for a heads up, on my version of the collab entered into Tracie's contest, I put down that both of us wrote stanza #7. You did help change it....plus, we both did push for changes in our other stanzas, so it wasn't as cut and dry, which is a good thing.

  1. Date: 10/9/2011 8:39:00 AM
    LOL, you two work so well together - great fun, as we'd all expect from the two of you : )

  1. Date: 8/8/2011 9:00:00 AM
    I can see myself in this piece Nikko & Chris. Nice collaboration, great writing you two :)

  1. Date: 8/5/2011 2:36:00 AM
    I just read all of your ever-so-subtle references to chairs....

  1. Date: 8/5/2011 12:26:00 AM
    lol.. as for me..i sit on my bed.. and i click click... but, sadly i have not been on my puter for such a long time. if i am on its from my phone. Phones are the best technology ever. Nikko, this poem is very witty... Did you know i have the words QWERTASDFGZXCVB.... TATTOOED ON MY left CHEEK...lol~ and on my right cheek. I have 09876poiuylkjhg.,mnb (( each cheek are covered with the keys from my keyboard. kidding... my computer would have to be for the blind~ in order for the imprint..lol

    na Avatar wala na
    Date: 8/5/2011 2:51:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    My crazoness rubbed off on her, that's what! jajajajaja!
    na Avatar wala na
    Date: 8/5/2011 2:51:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    whooops, craziness :D
    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 8/5/2011 2:38:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Jejejejejejeje....jajajajajaja? Wot's happened to P.D.??
    A   Avatar Poet Destroyer A
    Date: 8/5/2011 12:28:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    oooh ! wait i no longer wear the logo from my computer.. hahahahha its been a long time since i fell asleep at the wheel of my monitor... qwery... jajajjajajjaja
  1. Date: 8/5/2011 12:20:00 AM
    boo! ha ha! you two are my favorite and i am here to enjoy the collaboration... sweet...

  1. Date: 8/1/2011 11:39:00 PM
    hahaha, you two write so much alike here, I can hardly know which part was Chris' and which part was yours. Two witty people together make for one fantastic witty poem! Luv, andrea

  1. Date: 7/31/2011 4:21:00 PM
    lol! a funny poem, especially the ending! sounds like you two had fun writing this :)

  1. Date: 7/31/2011 4:33:00 AM
    Enjoyed the collab, but you are totally asking for it with this kind of piece. Sorry but I won't be able to help not to comment like this, although I am being subtle of course, since you two are already cheeky! Anyway, I think chocoholics should read this, might stop the urge of being a glutton (boy, I'm stretching it!). As bumming as it is, I think I'm staying away from your chocolates...I wouldn't know where it came from. By the way, all those clicks reminded me of dolphins.

    Alpestris Avatar M. Alpestris
    Date: 7/31/2011 4:33:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    ...but not the buttle-nosed ones of course.
  1. Date: 7/30/2011 8:26:00 PM
    Enjoyed the creativity!!

  1. Date: 7/30/2011 6:38:00 PM
    great collaboration u two .. and an enjoyable read but I use my cell phone internet so never sitting in that old comp chair..haha.. always moving.. so impatient..luv..haha.. texting and typing and walking puppy next to ocean waves..oh... now my s.m. is off course ..oh..

  1. Date: 7/30/2011 6:03:00 PM
    Nice Colab guys.... Very much on the mark. hope to see more from you too... Enjoyed Michael

  1. Date: 7/30/2011 3:59:00 PM
    Oooo! I saw that nice comment you left me....Yes! Bribing you with that wire-transfer to leave comments on my poems has been worth every cent so far! Haha!

  1. Date: 7/30/2011 3:31:00 PM
    Nikko, I am glad that you double-posted this poem, because this way it will actually receive more views and comments lol. I think only people who feel sorry for me, end up leaving comments for me haha! Wot kind of silly poem is this anyway? :D

    A   Avatar Poet Destroyer A
    Date: 8/5/2011 12:29:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    lol