Get Your Premium Membership

Torn Sun Rises In Japan

~ ~ ~** ~ ~ ~ ** ~ ~ ~ a torn sun once wholly wise, the kind that sparkled whistling eyes now a broken porcelain ,echoing screams from windows’ stain booming through shattered rooms, waters of black -skinned moons swish-swash slammed again, those gulps that cannot quite explain why serenity obi-sashed in stenciled rite, as current raged into that night of damp coal rimmed with mold, of hours drowning seismic cold until each mouth a frozen ice, a scarred evening’s genocide faltering without one chance, like rakes in dark shadow’s prance . oh, rage that flung in past times, they murmured lantern chimes in every road and churn, more fires ate the swelling burn bones splintered from space; some offered vows, some said grace now, thousands seek felicity, to slowly walk in dignified tenacity hands pluck the soil, the rice fields; etching fresh name with gentle shields as if to trace what’s left behind, on crepe stars a new hope they will find the promise of a waking sun, to toil and build till weary nights are gone and once more claim the gold of sky, until hearts’ wounds are mended dry. *each line is a rhyme in itself all rights reserved © ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ SPONSOR: Debbie Guzzi CONTEST: Tribute to Japan

Copyright © | Year Posted 2011




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

12
Date: 5/21/2011 12:26:00 AM
Many Congrats Nette on big coveted win in Debbie's contest. Luv & best wishes - Hitendra Mehta
Login to Reply
Date: 5/20/2011 10:07:00 PM
congratulations on this ambitous write, Nette in the contest I was too afraid to ever enter. haha. I could never have pulled off one like yours!
Login to Reply
Date: 5/20/2011 9:44:00 AM
Congratulatins on your fourth place, Nette in Debbie Guzzi's contest," Tribute To Japan". It's a very inspiring and moving poem written with deep thought and imagery. I wish you the best. Hugs, Andrew.
Login to Reply
Date: 5/20/2011 8:41:00 AM
Congrats on your well deserved win!
Login to Reply
Date: 5/20/2011 3:25:00 AM
Many congratulations on your well deserved win, Nette. x
Login to Reply
Date: 5/19/2011 8:46:00 PM
This is so touching and beautiful Nette. Many congrats hun.
Login to Reply
Date: 5/19/2011 8:38:00 PM
Knew this would be high in the winner's circle Nette. Many congrats on your BIG WIN. Lainie
Login to Reply
Date: 5/19/2011 12:39:00 PM
congrats on your win. cory
Login to Reply
Date: 5/19/2011 12:32:00 PM
Congratulations on your well deserved win in Debbie Guzzi's contest Nette. Love, Carol
Login to Reply
Date: 5/19/2011 11:52:00 AM
Hi Nette-Gleaning thru the harvested fields speaks of such desparation..love the ending where the wounded hearts are mended dry...cool idea since there was so many drownings. Thought of you today as my spouse and I toured an outdoor art exhibit-tried to think of the sculpture using different terms and emotion...U would have enjoyed the exhibit so! I may email a link to it! Congrats on this win...I think as far as this contest goes--everyone is a winner. These poems are great!
Login to Reply
Date: 5/19/2011 8:52:00 AM
super congrats to you nette! This is really a jampacked write and for you to let it rhyme within is also very cool! Way to go for you :) btw sent you soupmail the other day ;) hugs
Login to Reply
Date: 5/19/2011 8:24:00 AM
yours is lovely .... why did you change couplets to single lines??......your re-creation of the fear and death were particularly effective, especially line 6 ( of damp coal etc)...made me feel scared ooooooh (Mine is obviously superior in every way but was accidentally placed two spots below yours)....OK PEOPLE......O N L Y K I D D I N G ! ! ) best wishes as always Nettski......... from Hanks
Login to Reply
Date: 5/19/2011 7:37:00 AM
WEll deserved congrats to you Nette....and to add rhyme within, is even more challenging! Wonderful poetry, and Debbie has great picks!! Well done!
Login to Reply
Date: 5/19/2011 6:00:00 AM
Many congrats to you : )
Login to Reply
Date: 5/19/2011 5:54:00 AM
Congratulations on the fourth place win in the contest of debbie, nette
Login to Reply
Date: 5/19/2011 5:22:00 AM
Congrats Nette on your great win my friend in Japan contest.. enjoy luv ..super ..
Login to Reply
Date: 5/18/2011 2:31:00 PM
Thanks for your entry nette Light! Light & Love
Login to Reply
Date: 5/15/2011 10:49:00 AM
This is a nice tribute.I enjoyed reading it,each line is a wonder!
Login to Reply
Date: 5/14/2011 12:27:00 PM
Thanks for your comments, Nette. I'm hanging in there and will know more after I see the neurologist on Wednesday. I appreciate you concern. Love, Carolyn
Login to Reply
Date: 5/13/2011 3:03:00 PM
Hey hey hey! Nette, this is a nice write with rhyming in each line...I like the adjectives of motion..the sprinking of Oriental culture... and especially the etching of a fresh name with gentle shields..Holy smokes! This country has been to hell and back and I am in awe of her tenacity of spirit! I would change the last line to RE-claim the gold sky to show the get up and go spirit of these tenacious islanders. You students are blessed to be taught by the master poetess! Salamat! Gwendolen
Login to Reply
Date: 5/13/2011 2:07:00 PM
Your internal rhyme is brilliant, Nette, and the poem is quite moving. There is sadness but also hope. Let's all join in offering prayers for the people of Japan. I see Deb loves the poem too, so I'll look for you in her winners' circle. Love, Carolyn
Login to Reply
Date: 5/13/2011 1:18:00 PM
A beautiful poem, sad and sincerely touching. Good luck in the contest Nette.
Login to Reply
Date: 5/13/2011 5:45:00 AM
a REAL GEM NETTE! oops ;) Light & Love
Login to Reply
Date: 5/13/2011 5:17:00 AM
Just excellent Nette.Your poetry stands apart.Enjoyed very much.Best wishes.
Login to Reply
Date: 5/13/2011 4:28:00 AM
Intensity my dear friend Nette.. this is an excellent description in beautiful language luv of the beauty and terror that Japan has endured .. good luck in the contest luv.. so happy u are feeling much better.. it is these times that u just experience our yoga practice exhilarates the spirit being inside.. looking at these happenings in Japan .. we must rise above the questions and see the plan coming for this lovely country and for us as earth creatures luv..good luck..
Login to Reply
12

Book: Reflection on the Important Things