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Man Walks Into a Bar With a Bear and An Elephant
A man walked into a bar one night, he was with a bear and an elephant and they looked like they were spoiling for a fight 'Anyone got a problem with us?' The man asked, knowing, of course no one in their right mind would dare raise a fuss I mean, man, a bear's pretty scary, but an elephant and a bear, well, that's just huge, mean and hairy They ordered three beers and some peanuts and honey, then began to loudly ask the other patrons for large sums of money The bartender got nervous and started to worry; so he comped them their order, in quite a big hurry They sat in a corner, enjoying nervous glances from the crowd, drinking and eating and laughing real loud They told off-colour jokes about girls, bees and mice some jokes were so funny, they told the same one twice The elephant was drinking his beer from a bucket, when the bear tipped over the table and shouted 'Aw man, **** it' 'C'mon let's kick us some ass, Elmer, cause you know that's what we came for!' So they got up from their seats and waddled over to the dancefloor The bear took the lead, as he'd had several fewer and, besides, the elephant looked like he'd just fell in the sewer He wobbled a bit, but steadied himself with his trunk, y'know, even an elephant needs assistance, sometimes when he gets really drunk The bear stood on his hind legs and raised himself to full height, then he made like a boxer and asked 'Okay, who wants to fight?' The people had panicked when they heard the bear swear, now they jumped from their tables and ran for the door, on a tear The bar quickly emptied as the people ran out and the bear began to laugh, shooting a shower of beer straight from his snout The elephant trumpeted, he stomped and he shook, he said to the bear, 'what a bunch of cowards.... was that all that it took?' Soon, the bar was quite empty except for the three, going round to each table and drinking what was left there, for free So next time you're in a bar, unless you're a bee, or maybe a mouse, if you see a guy with a bear and an elephant, you can bet they'll be having a round on the house
Copyright © 2024 David Brown. All Rights Reserved

Book: Shattered Sighs