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Reclaiming the absence

To be a good father You already have to be a good man But apparently he couldn't be either guess it was just easier For him to be just like his father

Him being a black father Made it harder The stereotypes That followed him around That policed He probably internally agreed He felt it must've been better for him to leave Or Maybe he just doesn't love his kids enough to stay It must've been his generational way

His children understood As best as they could That his father was ed up They just thought he would give them a better childhood

They weren't mad just disappointed They felt neglected Felt unprotected By someone who was supposed to love them They felt stupid They felt empty, like they shouldn't have existed

As they grew up They saw all the other present fathers The pain Of it all began to hit harder They began to wonder If they even mattered

As the years continued on That pain grew stronger Their fathers absence Constantly haunted them Their self hatred grew deeper No amount of therapy made it easier They would always feel inferior

They would never forgive They would never forget

Copyright © Layla Riley-Hill

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Book: Reflection on the Important Things