Untitled Nightmare

Haunting night for writer's block decided to explore my writing endeavors awakened always at three am feeling overwhelmed from another night filled with words dancing about inside my head to put to pages immediately before they shift again suddenly I realized one of my poems title was changed to untitled checking my notes why I make extra careful to copy all my work even though I began writing simply the old fashioned way on paper yellow note pad's to be exact line for line submitting by mail after my son begged me to show my poem to his teacher so I let my son take one of my poems to school for show and tell he read it in front of the class my son's teacher was so impressed she admired my work so much she begged me to enter Montel Williams poetry contest back in 1999 to my surprise excellent write I was just house wife mother of eight retiring from my employment Mac dill Airforce base after an injury I adored writing telling short stories writing to amuse my children constantly with children books poems music unexpectedly 2003 I was in a serious crash car bomb ignited my skull fractured my nasal arch crushed sinus plate crushed eye socket bruised frontal lobe temporal lobe and my optic nerve blinding my right eye crushed my face bruised my brain to my surprise I wrote uncontrollably compulsive writing disorder I would say because I needed to save my brain my doctors told me thank god I wrote poetry writing helped my brain injury it helped your mind function comfort my brain so I couldn't stop writing my brain sent signals to my mind creative writing began me i needed to keep writing just in case my brain injury someday stopped in mere thought how devastating I thought to wake up and vanish I was blessed I'd written an autobiography of my entire life I wrote everyday all day in case dementia Alzheimer to someday surface I dreaded this being a writer who knows at any rate writing poetry everyday enhanced my memory enhanced my life so finally got my first computer and began submitting several poems a day you could imagine how I felt reading untitled on one of my poems write when my computer shut down so I ran to the library in a blizzard to find about eight more read untitled by gods grace I'd copied all my work changed my email address and relocated contacted the business direct office with copies of all my poems in hand with all the titles this woman was very helpful and was very apologetic and apologized for this glitched my titles reappeared the publishing company offered me many offers saying I was one of their best writer's this was a complete nightmare for any poet I can truly relate to Virginia Woolfe writing from her hospital bed in London her best work was with suicidal thoughts I often admired young poet Mattie Stepanek only seven years inspired me before his passing to keep writing no matter how broken you may be meanwhile I now embrace thee untitled nightmare