Tonight

I guess this is it, I gave it my best shot But this is now the only option I got I know you'll be angry, maybe even be sad But there was no other choice I had I've planned it all and have done for weeks Some day soon you'll try to find me and seek But on that say I will never be found Until you throw flowers as I lay six feet underground The pain, the hurt, the sorrow I felt The crap cards of life I certainly got dealt The talking, the shrinks I've had my fair share The loneliness, the hurt yes it's still there So in order to gain peace and to stop feeling dull This is the path I have no alternative but to go I wanted to change and thought things could But still now I'm being misunderstood So tonight it is, when all will be laid to rest Tonight it is when no longer will my problems manifest I open the supply and marvel at the sight To think that these little pills all chalky white Will be the thing that will make me disappear Where no more 'get over it' will I hear The water by my side as I swallow the first batch I lay on my bed so its mattress me it can catch I'm getting tired now, the end is coming nigh Am I really ready to die What about those who will be left behind Or the unlucky person who my body will find Will they have peace or will another cycle start How can I do this yet proclaim to love them in my heart I'm sure if I swallow milk and dial 999 Then my rigour mortise body they won't find I could try again and seek further advice And not make life's decisions on the throw of a dice So tonight wasn't the night after all When suicide turned up and knocked on my door I politely answered and said you have the wrong house Now turn around and get to going...... or else