The Scottis Generale
The Scottis Generale,
Nicholas McJockstrap
Waes undefaited fu a decaid
Due to the nikkirless trap
But on thys partikul day…
Thei stud on the highelands
Withe thir kyltes flyring highe
Ase thir baggpypis pleyed
“Thes wyll gyve yu a stye in yur ey”
Thir ennemy, takin abak
By the sicht thei sawe
Thene advaunced wyth a skreyme
Saing “shou eus soum moary”
The Scottis secreet weapun
Ded nott wark
It juist creatted a frynze
Drave the ennemy berrserk
The ennemy, sailors
Adaptared thei sexeul palatiat
As thei strypped ofe thei cloath
Ty revele frokes fram a swanne laik ballatt
Thei foloued thei Captain
Byg Baud Benn
Skreyming “Kille ale the women”
“Ande raap ale the meyn”
***************************
Translation
The Scottish General
Nicholas McJockstrap
Was undefeated for a decade
Due to his nickerless trap
But on this particular day…
They stood on the highlands
With their kilts flying high
As their bagpipes played
“This will give you a sty in your eye”
Their enemy, taken aback
By the sight they saw
Then advanced with a scream
Saying “Show us some more”
The Scottish secret weapon
Did not work
It just created a frenzy
Drove the enemy berserk
The enemy sailors
Learned to adapt their sexual palates
As they stripped off their clothes
To reveal frocks from a swan lake ballet
They followed their Captain
Big Bad Ben
Screaming “Kill all the women”
“And rape all the men.”
Post Comments
Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.
Please
Login
to post a comment
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a
Premium Membership.
