The Pendulum of My Consciousness

'Helpless' is an adjective I never thought
my hand would write to describe the despair
that's wound its way deep inside my heart.
Honestly, I'm only the catalyst of my own life,
the taproot that strengthens my mindset,
my cornerstone, my anchor, my backbone
when I wobble in the wind over matters
that I deem too serious to contemplate.

Lately, my thoughts swing back and forth,
from heights and depths, highs and lows.
My conscience cannot abide the seesaw
on which it rides up and down. 
It wants to get off but can't find the right stride
to control where my troubled mind goes.

What fulcrum will serve as a bulwark for me?
Today I turn away from the bitterness and strife,
but tomorrow my mind will again pivot upon life.
I am a pendulum, swinging in the air, 
but I have no counterweights to spare. 
I try to bury my worries, but I still hear them chime.
There's no place to hide from a revolution.
Persecution of the innocent is a wretched crime.

What can I do to ease such chaos and lament?
I pray for Divine intervention with the intention 
that God's mercy will help humankind 
endure their banes and lessen their pains.
But is it His plan to save man in this way?
I've become unsure that He will intervene.

With so much folly and corruption in the world
I wonder... should I keep my sails unfurled
and take flight so that I might never see 
horrors in the night and the bitter blight,
the tragedy being inflicted upon each other.

Or should I stay to fight with my brothers?
Given my druthers, there'd be no choice to make
if greed in fiendish ones, they would forsake.
What hub could serve as the center point, 
a crux where minds meet to ease the tension,
and erase the apprehension in our society?
If there is an answer it has not come to the fore.
Must that mean war is the only solution?

Is there no resolution, something awesomely sublime,
to be a lever of sanity and give proper perspective
to a world standing on the edge of fanatical unrest?
I've no answer that would end the volatile upheaval
or staunch the flow of blood driven by an evil ego.
To negate the vile ones who are assailing humanity,
will take a mind shrewder than mine has to reveal.



March 8, 2022
Consciousness Fulcrum Contest
Sponsored by Unseeking Seeker
Copyright © | Year Posted 2022

Poem

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Watt Avatar
March 17, 2022 at 10:03 PM
Jenna, there is much to admire here, not least of which is the pain-filled candor of contemplating war, greed, and power in the hands of evil. Dark times call for dark words, and you have poured them out for us with tact, talent, and passion. So many word choices to appreciate: catalyst, taproot, seesaw, hub, crux, pendulum, fulcrum, bulwark, blight. Congrats for your win, and kudos for your thought-provoking honesty ~ John
Logan Avatar
March 29, 2022 at 6:37 AM
I am always happy to read your fine comments, John. Thank you so much for appreciating the vocabulary choices I made for my write. I appreciate you.
Kauffman Avatar
March 14, 2022 at 11:57 AM
Your words are words of the conscious soul dipping into the unconscious only to return with new awareness Jenna. You have painted a glorious picture of the pilgrim's journey to blissful perfection. Congratulations on your win. Thank you for sharing your journey.
Logan Avatar
March 29, 2022 at 6:36 AM
I didn't know where to take this one, Sam, but sometimes it's the heart that grips our pen. Thanks!
Koplin Avatar
March 13, 2022 at 6:21 PM
Unfortunately when he gave mankind free will, even the evil received it. All we can do is fight for what’s right and show mercy to all we can. Wonderful thought provoking piece.
Logan Avatar
March 29, 2022 at 6:35 AM
Forgive others as He forgives us. Thanks so much for liking these lines, Mark.
Alex Avatar
March 13, 2022 at 1:37 AM
Having mentioned the need of divine intervention, you have asked a concrete question: "But is it His plan to save man in this way?" - Beautifully written. Congratulations!
Logan Avatar
March 29, 2022 at 6:34 AM
Thank you for your thoughts, Chris. Be assured that God's plans are divine and should go without question.
Seeker Avatar
March 12, 2022 at 8:34 PM
Masterful! Congrats on your win, Jenna! We all face this dilemma within, so well portrayed
Logan Avatar
March 29, 2022 at 6:33 AM
Thank you, Seeker, for finding it to your liking enough for a placement in your contest.
Mcconnell Avatar
March 11, 2022 at 8:08 AM
Great pen Jenna with wonderful imagery and full of real insightfulness too. So honest and full of real passion too, Have a great day, Gordon
Logan Avatar
March 11, 2022 at 9:54 AM
I am so happy that you were able to comprehend my thoughts. Thank you, Gordon.
Cunningham Avatar
March 8, 2022 at 12:39 PM
You've pushed the boat out with this one Jenna, you've written a poetic masterpiece, well done and good luck in the contest. Tom
Logan Avatar
March 8, 2022 at 12:43 PM
Thank you ever so kindly, Tom. I can't express what I'd like to do and not have each line censored. At least not with a good conscience. Your comments mean a great deal to me.
Leffanta Avatar
March 8, 2022 at 11:17 AM
This is very well thought and done! Winner for sure! Aloha!
Logan Avatar
March 8, 2022 at 11:34 AM
I appreciate your encouraging comments, Rico. Thank you so very much.
Kavanagh  Avatar
March 8, 2022 at 11:08 AM
Brutally honest Jenna, you indeed search for the fulcrum inside and outside your consciousness, and make great pains to try understand the mindset of mankind, is war the only solution, judging by history it indeed seems that way, to understand a higher power’s non intervention, would indeed go a long way in my quest for meaning in this life, extraordinary writing, I think the seeker will love it, cheers David
Logan Avatar
March 8, 2022 at 11:33 AM
Thank you for comprehending my thoughts, David. I didn't think I would enter this contest, but this morning I wrote a few lines, and my mind was suddenly overflowing with emotions. My statement of God intervening does not indicate my lack of faith in knowing He can, but in knowing He chooses the time when He'll say, "Enough!" I have no idea what Seeker wants, but this is what I perceived to be an honest evaluation of how I feel.
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