The Green Monster of Agonizing Ifs

My mind is in constant torment. You say you love me, and she's a friend. You say there is nothing to worry about. Why then, is my heart clouded with doubt? Intrusive thoughts plague my inner being.. Every smile, every word uttered, I go on imaging.. I want to bury my turbulent mind in a deep coffin. So, I do not have to, continually cry and think so often. Why do I ask questions to add fuel to the “ammo?” You answer all my questions but, do I really know? You still come home and sleep in my bed. Then why does my heart continue to feel “misled?” When you leave; my heart grows empty. The green monster starts in again, with unending ifs of agony.