Shakespeare's Name Blame Game

A Capulet named Juliette Exclaimed to her ardent beau, "You're not to blame Montagu's your name. By its nature a rose's aroma is sweet, Though in nomenclature it be not so neat, But wherefore art thou Romeo? Why can't you be John, or Frank, or Ben, Gregory, Justin, Bill, or Farley? I'd even go for Joe, or Charlie, Or Abelard, or even Sven." "Hey, I didn't choose it, so please don't abuse it," The young swain gently pleaded. "We must conclude our families' feud If our love's to proceed unimpeded." But those star-crossed lovers Were destiny's fools, They drank poison and ended up dead. In that feud Shakespeare roped them, When he could have eloped them, And written those kids a happy ending instead.