No Feelings

Before I begin, let me explain. I’m not talking about feelings such as sleepy, tired or hungry. I’m talking about emotional feelings in general. I’ve noticed the majority of people in this world hold on to harbored hurt. Yes, hidden, harbored hurt from the past. Let’s talk about it. When it comes to feelings, people get in their feelings, feel some type of way, get their feelings hurt, get out yo feelings, let go of your feelings… When people have feelings about things they don’t like, they sometimes don’t resolve or express those feelings. They often harbor the hurt and negativity from the way they are feeling and it builds up. And even when they yell, fuss, discuss or address those feelings, they still tend to harbor them. And this can lead to resentment, anger, frustration, hatred and bitterness. Someone recently told me I spoke aggressively towards them a couple of years ago. They didn’t like it, but they didn’t say anything at the time, they just let it go. I told them, “Well if you ‘let it go’ and I mean truly let it go, then why are you even bringing it up now?” Did you really let it go, or did you just harbor the unresolved hurt you felt? And besides, how was I to know my words came across as aggressive to you if you didn’t say anything? The way I see it is, if you didn’t say anything then, then don’t say anything now. Letting something go means never bringing it up again. And the best way to not have unresolved issues is to resolve them right then and there. Truthfully, if you responded or reacted to a fuss, or something someone said or did 6 months ago, why is it ever brought up again? Haven’t those feelings and emotions already been released? So why keep rehashing and reliving them by bringing them up again and again? Now, if you felt some type of way about it and you haven’t addressed the situation, then the question to ask yourself is why? I have this saying, “If it happened today, we gon deal with it today.” That’s how I move forward in life. Let me tell you how I have learned to live my life in peace. Me, I have tuned out and turned off feelings and shifted them in to neutral. I have learned feeling some type of way causes a response or a reaction. Me being in neutral means, when it comes to what you say or do, life circumstances or situations, I’m not feeling no type of way, one way or the other. In other words, if I don’t have no feelings towards it, then it won’t have no type of affect on me and it won’t get no reaction from me. Now, let’s say for instance, you lose your keys, the good news is, they are replaceable. But because you “feel” some type of way about it, you begin to cry, cuss, fuss, yell, throw things, or have a temper tantrum, when all the while you can just go get more keys made, without the unnecessary drama and reactions. How about doing a process of elimination. If you lose your keys, just go get more keys made and eliminate the crying, fussing and temper tantrum, that’s all I’m saying. Learn to find ways to make your life drama free and stress free. When it comes to having no feelings, one might say, well what about compassion? Well, I did say I shifted my feelings in to “neutral.” Which means to me, I can have compassion without “feeling” compassionate, if that makes any sense. And if it doesn’t, then it doesn’t to you. From reading the book “The Four Agreements,” it teaches you to not take anything personally and when I say anything, I mean Anything, and to not make assumptions. These are 2 of the most challenging areas we as humans struggle in. When you learn to improve in these areas, your life will become more peaceful, enjoyable and less stressful. Learning to not take anything personally and not make assumptions can literally add calmness and simplicity to your life. And who wouldn’t want calmness and simplicity in their lives? What I mean by me learning to not take nothing personal is, if you tell me you love me - ok. If you tell me you hate me - ok. If you tell me I’m amazing, beautiful and gorgeous… ok. I’m not feeling no type of way about it. It won’t make my day, I’m not happier or glowing or excited about your compliments. If you say I’m ugly, dumb, disgusting and get on your nerves… ok. Won’t phase me one bit. I’m not feeding into your negativity. If I had feelings towards what you said (good or bad), that would cause me to respond or react, and I’m not. Remember, I’m in neutral. In other words, I’m not arguing, agreeing, justifying, debating or defending your statements. Just call me Ms. Unbothered at its finest! I must say though, if you want things to change, then You gotta be the change. And of course, this won’t happen over night. But when you gradually start cutting down on the things you take personal, stop harboring hurt and making assumptions over things, you’ll start noticing a positive difference within yourself, your mood, your attitude and your life. Try it and see.