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Humpty Dumpty

Sheiks and Sultans kingdom's revolt
Citizens ire and fervour a shocking jolt
Unleashing coffers, promising change they molt
While cleansing their streets with rifle and Colt

Western pots fizzle and stew
Chafing but swallowing the spicy brew
Heartburn follows; the potion they slowly chew
The side effects their sensitive systems do rue

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Phyllis Babcock

Date: 3/23/2011 9:32:00 PM

Enjoyed reading your poem this evening. I get heartburn just listening to the media. I feel sorry for our eastern folks but feel the western folks should not get involved in this. Sometimes humpty dumpty must fall. God Bless Phyl

Stephen Parker

Date: 3/23/2011 3:03:00 PM

Excellent point, Justin! But I do think that a lot of people on the right and left genuinely and principley oppose intervention when it is not in our national interests. But your point strikes a poignant note, because the uninformed majority are easily swayed by the opinions of the media elite!

Justin Debrosse

Date: 3/23/2011 1:26:00 PM

This says a lot about how news is consumed, but the anger and the revolt demonstrates how sheer democratic passion cant be contained

Stephen Parker

Date: 3/23/2011 11:46:00 AM

Thanks for your kind words and incisive criticism. Shocking is a necessary to illustrate the fact that the rulers were caught off guard! Jolt describes the impact of the severity of the shock. In the second line, change is the complementary component of generosity (unleashed coffers). Colt is capatalized because it is a type of revolver! But I do agree that concision would give the poem more rythm!

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 3/23/2011 11:42:00 AM

Just as Humpty Dumpty, many of these Mideast nations are experiencing a "great fall," Stephen. The heartburn that hurts the worst is the thought of Western nations getting involved in these revolts. Well said. Best wishes, Carolyn

Ephraim Crud

Date: 3/23/2011 10:40:00 AM

Hi Stephen. A very nice write, but it would be much improved by a bit of pruning, which would not takeaway from your intention: S1, L2: omit ~ shocking / S1, L3: omit ~ change / S1, L4: colt ( c ~lower case) / s2, L1: add a 1 syllable word, 'boil' perhaps, after frizzle / S2, L3: omit ~ slowly / S2, L4: omit ~ do. Now see how it scans, it should read much smoother. Thank you for sharing.