How To Harness a Cantankerous Mule

'Tis well known that mules are a very stubborn breed, So 'tis well to keep that point in mind ere you proceed! They've been known to bite and they have a mighty hefty kick. (So, how to harness a mule? Very carefully and you must be quick!) First, you should tie the mule to a sturdy post in an open area. This will provide you room to move about and lessen his hysteria! Grab the collar and slide the wider open end over the mule's ears. (While doin' this, whisper sweet nothin's to him to calm his fears!) Fasten the hames to the collar and drape the traces over his back. Tuck the crupper under his tail makin' sure it is somewhat slack. Tighten the girth ensurin' it's tight, then, fasten the bellyband. (Take a break to bind the wound where he nipped you on the hand!) The reins are carefully threaded through the saddle and collar guides. (You're forgiven when he steps on your foot and you holler naughty asides!) Now, slip the halter and bridle over his ears and place the bit in his mouth. Walla! You're ready to hitch him to the plow to turn those forty acres south! Well, so what you may ask? Why all this fuss about harnessin' a mule? Because you may be required to harness one someday and not look the fool! Furthermore, with the price of gasoline risin' at the pump nowadays, You may need to get a mule and buggy and change your gas-guzzlin' ways! Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired © All Rights Reserved