Holidays With Uncle Dozer
One relative commanders every family meal
regaling us with stories we have heard
Six thousand times already.
They might have been interesting or funny at one time.
I do not remember that time.
Do we have to invite him? I ask people.
They are shocked. I am the bad one now.
Great Uncle Dozer never pauses for a drink or a bite.
He gobbles his food quickly,
So he can do all of the talking.
The rest of us are too socialized to try to butt in
After the thousandth try.
When he finally takes a breath
We all start talking at once,
Rudely and impolitely interrupting each other.
When we try to do that to him, he just gets louder.
This may be his last Christmas the grown-ups say,
Let’s be charitable. Let’s listen to him one more time.
Uncle Dozer is one hundred and six years old.
Not looking forward to Thanksgiving.
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