Had They Committed the Bum

The actor was acting up whilst falling down, then tumbling like Jack and Jill, watering his career with the director’s tears. Those tears they turned the reel into a real mistake that killed the mistaken idea that the actor couldn’t act. Oh, he’d act whilst playing a wall or packing a wallop. He could play it straight after emptying a barrel of hops. He’d monkey around, sure enough, but the reel turned out real good. The director sobbed, as did the leading lady, sober as a titmouse, lips trembling, for she had wined 99 times. But, that hack was good. She’d had to admit it, after she was committed. Had they committed the bum, the movie wouldn’t have won and the Oscar would have gone to the ‘toon. The director and leading lady dry their eyes as the actor wets his whistle one more time to charm the public with his sublime rhetoric. He bows over and regurgitates over and over his subliminal vocation. The ‘toon’s now sarcastic, bombastically declares he should have won. (No actor is humble) This fumble will cost him, and accost him. The winner wipes his lips and the sweat from his cheeks, cheekily rips up the toon’s script. “Be real…” he says.