Dreamtime: Woodenman
Unbeknownst to me, WoodenMan enjoyed quite a cotillion of female admirers. With
his rosewood
dimples barely lifted in permanent bemusement, women found him adorable, though
decidedly eunuch.
It all began the night I visited the local tavern, where a prominent antique
appraiser was holding
court, obliging townsfolk with estimations as to the value of their assorted and
sundry treasures.
I attended with two ancient family lamps and WoodenMan, whom I had grown (I
thought) tired,
of his ever present companionship. Dismissing my first lamp with a wave of minimal
value, the
hawk-eyed appraiser fastened his gaze on WoodenMan….”bring him closer” he
declared…..as
WoodenMan was most ungainly and prone to tipping over at the blink of an eye.
I gingerly gathered
him, attempting not to injure his pride in doing so…. “quite a specimen you have
here” he announced
to many heads turning our way “are you sure you wish to relieve yourself of his
care? You know,
they become quite attached to their surroundings”
…..at that precise moment, glimpsing my
second lamp,
the appraiser excused himself hurriedly, and dashed off to alert a collector friend of
his, as to his
remarkable find. When he returned with the well-known (who shall remain
nameless) businessman,
they set upon me with negotiable jabbering, attempting to dislodge my precious
lamp from my
holdings. During this discourse, WoodenMan appeared interested in our discussion,
when the
appraiser mentioned “did you realize they can grow to weigh up to 500
pounds?
This news somewhat took me back! as I only imagined handling
his disjointed self under these circumstances. Conversation passed, and I became
aware the
businessman was also interested, perhaps, in acquiring WoodenMan. Well, I’m
convinced WoodenMan
knew more than he revealed, when he joined the conversation, addressing the
businessman
directly, without moving his perfectly inlaid lips (and quite to the astonishment of the
swelling crowd
around us) “dear Sir, you realize, knowing too well your various and assorted
carryings on with the leading ladies of this community, I would be most aggrieved,
to allow your company more than the
briefest of time!”….at this quite surprising twist in the proceedings, I moved to
gather my
possessions, respectfully collected WoodenMan, and headed towards the
door,
content,
with life as before.
© All Rights Reserved
Copyright © James Marshall Goff | Year Posted 2011
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