Confession

As I lay in the dark with my head about to explode All the thoughts still stir in my mind The ones I try to be ride of...leave mostly behind Like the chronic pain in my skull that never ceases to exist You linger there like a crown of thorns digging deep into me with your pointed tips I know what I feel for you is just mere infatuation, my fantasy about you and how we would be in my... head But like the meds I take to numb the pain and stop the throbbing deep into my temples...its only good when the dopamine persists Even with all the synchronicities around you and me....I doubt God would allow us...how we are... To ever be meant to be So this is my confession that you will surely never read How else and where else should I go to bleed I don't know why I feel so drawn to you but it's kill me Like everything else in my life that feels like more of a weight than what I imagined it all to be I bury my head in the dark and when that's enough the pain keeps it a spark Reminding me how I'm so blessed with some kind of twisted version of "serenity" The Amenity of your smile and the touch of your soft beautiful hands I can only embrace in those brief short moments together....or else in just my dreams.. So I guess il just say goodnight and slumber with my inner misery.